Thursday, August 18, 2011

What DO You DO?

{Post 230/365: Original Post: Sucks To BE ME}

 What do you do when you feel restless, stressed, emotional...I mean more than usual, or for days in a row, weeks, months even. How do you find the joy again? How do you find the silver lining? How do you find and BE positive when you're feelings don't really seem to be for much reason at all.
I know there are many reasons in my life and situation to feel this way but, I don't think any of them are the reason I feel so...RESTLESS.
I don't know what is...
maybe just because I know deep deep down that things are changing again and some CHOICES have to be made. I have to make a DECISION. THEN, I have to fight myself like hell every day to keep from sinking back into this oblivion.
Ignorance is bliss they say...sometimes I wish to be ignorant and delusional but, the problem is that I am intelligent and I can recognize and know the truth when I hear it or see it. IF I want to be here LONG time, I MUST change some things. So many I have already changed but, so many still to change that I sometimes feel I flounder and drown in the middle and have not gotten anywhere yet at all!
Baby steps move forward but, so SLOW and yet, I cannot seem to make these changes any faster or I feel overwhelmed and just want to lie down and give up.
I refuse to give up! So I continue to step with baby steps and make ONE change at a time until I make improvements or lose the fight...whichever comes first.
I need a list and a PLAN. Then I will find the WILL to commit to it.

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