Love the Skin You're IN!

{Post 42/365: Original Post: I AM a QUEEN}
I admit I have a hard time with this sometimes.
I have never been a tiny girl and I have never had a "perfect" body and while I'm speaking honestly I will admit, I would almost kill to have the body I was in when I was 15!
Back then, I was FAT to all the girls around me because I am big boned and tall.
I earned the body I live in by inheriting my father's genes and I thank God for that every day because the alternative is my mother's genes being stronger and I'd be a short, round butterball!! At least I AM tall, and also I'm pretty well evenly proportioned so there is that! However, I digress...I have learned through the years, mainly from being just perfect for my age and height and also totally over weight and unhealthy...so basically the whole spectrum of weights and sizes that, I was GOOD when I was 15.
If I'd only liked and accepted myself back then maybe I'd not hate so much the body I'm in now! The thing is that life is a process and a journey and part of it is learning to love yourself the way you are.
I don't like my arms or my stomach.
My arms at one point were bigger around than those of my father.  What woman ever wants to admit that? OMG! I don't want to admit it really but nevertheless it IS a fact.
My stomach is hideous. It is just a big mess of stretch marks and flabby excessive skin.
I gave birth to four children. The third one I lost when I was 4 1/2 months pregnant but that was not before the skin had begun to stretch again so I must also count that pregnancy as a factor in the growth or rather non-shrinking of my stomach skin.
Each pregnancy made the stretch marks worse and I had no idea about whether or not it was possible to heal them at the time so I just suffered with the big ugly purple EVIL grooves in my skin. Gross! Now, they have faded almost to the same colour as the rest of my skin but, still I can see them when I stand naked in front of the mirror and I hate them.
They are an ugly horrible part of my body I wish were not there.
So here's the thing. Maybe, only having two parts I really hate out of all the other body parts I have isn't so bad. Maybe if I can manage to teach my brain to respect and honour the fact that the stomach stretched as a result of carrying four beautiful miracles. Never mind the fact that one of them was lost to me the fact is I gave birth to four children and three of them are beautiful, healthy, fascinating, wonderful people.
I earned those stretch marks for a beautiful reason and I should NOT be ashamed of them or insecure about them or even disgusted by them.
I should just recognize and accept that they are the result of a process I endured to carry inside me the most amazing miracles that life could have ever given me!
Thinking of it like this makes me feel better!
As for the arms...well I don't like them and I never will and the only reason they are the way they are is because I DID gain so much weight and all of that was the result of a long, painful, damaging process I went through.  Then my health went kaput and I needed new and different medicines and a whole trial and error process to get everything back on track through which I lost about half the weight I had gained. As a result, I have big, ugly, baggy arms because the skin stretched and now hangs.
However, I have been through enough in my life and I decided awhile ago if people have problems with the way I look they can turn their head and look at the wall instead.
I am alive.
I have survived.
I have endured.
I have hurt enough.
This body is really only the package I come in.  It is just the shell that houses my mind, heart, and soul.  These are the important parts of me.
So, while I admit I don't like the arms and the stomach I have learned to love and accept the rest of me.
The skin that I'm in is good enough for me!

Find the Goddess inside YOU

{Post 40/365: Original Post: I AM a QUEEN}

EVERY woman has a goddess inside her.
We need to learn to cultivate, honour and embrace all aspects of her...of OURSELVES.
The following attributes I have listed are the aspects of the goddess within that I have found to be important and needing acknowledgement:

She is comfortable in her own skin.

She is at peace with herself.

She values herself.

She recognizes her own distinct beauty from within and OUT!

She accepts herself including all aspects positive and negative and realizes they are just part of who she is.

She is TRUE to herself.

She IS herself.

She is kind to herself and therefore kind to others as well.

She takes care of herself. This includes body, mind and spirit. If she isn't taking care of herself she cannot take care of others.

She thinks positive always and finds the silver lining in as many situations as she can.

I am learning to value myself and honour the goddess within me.
I hope that each and every woman who reads this will also be inspired to do the same. :)

YOU are YOU

{Post 28/365: Original Post: I AM a QUEEN}
I am thinking about what it feels like to fall in love. To BE in love.
I'm thinking about all the feelings we can feel when this happens.
I'm thinking about how blind we can be to soft subtle changes we make to co-exist, to compromise, to accommodate each other and how easy it then is to give up our "self" in the name of LOVE.
In the name of "LOVE" and peace keeping we give in to our partner's needs more often.
In soft, quiet, subtle ways we give up our own right to choice because we "love" that other person so much.

A wise friend told me once that "love isn't about what we take but, what we give" and so many of us are willing to give EVERYTHING that we lose ourselves in the process.

I am one of these people.
The all-in, all or nothing, jump in feet first, anything for love kind.
I don't think that's wrong.
I don't see anything wrong with wanting to do and be and say everything and anything you can to make the other person as happy as you can make them.
As long as it is TRUE. As long as it does not HARM you. As long as you don't LOSE you.
As long as you recognize it is NOT your responsibility to BE their happiness.
As long as you don't accept their choices as your own.
As long as you don't allow them to manipulate and control you out of guilt or insecurity or fear that they will leave, that they will hurt you, that they will punish you for having the right to choose your own path.

Sometimes we will stay in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of love because we don't want to be a failure in love. We don't want to be "wrong" for not having the strength to endure. We don't want to believe that we weren't good enough or didn't do enough, or didn't try our hardest. We don't want to disappoint our families, friends, children, and mostly ourselves.

Sometimes you can love someone else with all of your being, mind, heart and soul and they just don't equal your love. They are just NOT the right person for you.
It's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole!

It is OK to move on.

LOVE really shouldn't be like fitting a square peg in a round hole.

When you find the RIGHT person it is like puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together.

It is like coming home to yourself.

It is like recognizing yourself in someone else.

It is knowing that you can be your WHOLE self, flaws and all and be accepted for just exactly who you are.
It is knowing that you can choose your own path and they will encourage, support and stand beside you all the way! EVEN if they don't always LIKE every choice you make.
It is making mistakes and learning from them and growing separately and together...FORWARD...towards a deeper and more intimate relationship together.
It is KNOWING that they are the other half of you and YOU are better WITH them now than you were before by yourself.

YOU are YOU, 
HE is HE
and together you are MORE

NOT LESS. NEVER less.

Be More Than You ARE...

{Post: 10/365: Original Post: I AM a QUEEN}
If you don't like who you are and where you are, don't worry about it because you're not stuck either with who you are or where you are. You can grow. You can change. You can be more than you are. 
~Zig Ziglar~


This quote makes me think.
There are some aspects of us that are so hard to change that we get depressed and feel like failures and never let that go. We hold onto the things we CAN'T do and never allow ourselves to simply accept that maybe there are parts we can't change but there are also things we CAN and we SHOULD....
I myself am guilty of this. Sometimes things are just part of our nature and trying to change them makes us false to ourselves. 
Sometimes things are outside of our control and also can't be changed because it isn't in our power to do so...health for example...
so...when things are NOT changeable then it is time to find something that we CAN change, something that we CAN do to make things better, to make us like ourselves better. We should try a new hobby, or a new thing we have never done before...we need to open our hearts and minds to new ideas and just make different choices sometimes...
accept the things we cannot change and don't expect to be perfect...JUST...
CHANGE the things we can!

If we always do what we have always done, then nothing will ever change.
You have to TRY something new.
Even one small change can turn the course of your life enough that many new doors will open and many new things will come into your life.
The only thing you really have to decide is what it is that you really want to do NEXT!
I'm still figuring that out...but I will find it! Will you? ;)