Struggling

{Post: 341/365}

struggling

fighting

trying

failing

falling

crashing

digging a deep hole

sinking into the deep

wallowing in self-pity

a victim

I own my responsibility

and I choose

to climb

and sometimes

I slide back down

falling into the dark

only a glimmer of light

in the distance

and again I climb

and slide

and eventually

I reach the rise

climb out of the deep darkness

and turn my face to the sun

i have risen anew from the ashes

but the journey

has only truly begun

and I will climb and slide

fight and falter

a million times again

before I reach the next rise

and once again 

feel the shine of the sun

tomorrow is another day

to rise anew from the ashes

and though I may get tired

I MUST keep on

fighting

trying

struggling

Sometimes

{Post: 338/365}

sometimes
I don't know
where to find
the faith
the belief
in myself
or in anything else
really
it is not
my nature
to be positive
I am a
melancholy soul
but I try
to find the silver lining
and see the light
and the positive
and keep moving forward
even when it is hard
sometimes

Keep On

{Post: 337/365}

finding a purpose

finding a reason

to fight

to carry on

to move forward

to keep going

to breath

to live

to keep trying

NOT to give up

NOT to lie down and die

is some days

very easy

and some days

nonexistent

and all i can do

is hope that the darkness

will subside again

and the purpose

and the reason

will find another way

to shine

and remind me

to keep on

keeping on

Sleep and Dream

{Post: 322/365}

restless sleep

riddled with dreams

strangeness

fighting

crochet

passion and pain

obvious stress

and worry

keeping my dream life

full and busy

and my sleep

from being complete

hot flashes

potty breaks

thirsty for water

cats causing ruckus

crashing and banging

waking me out of a dead sleep

and causing my nerve ends

to jangle

hope for better

and restful sleep

tonight

I Will Fight

{Post: 293/365}

what will 

tomorrow bring

but more

stress, worry

and fear

I don't believe

I am strong enough

not to fear

not to doubt

not to wail and moan

and cry in misery

and sorrow

for my plight

and yet I know

that I will take a breath

and another

and I will

survive

each moment

as I am faced with them

I know

that I will fight

in the ways that I know

in the ways that I have

and I may yet learn

new ways as well

i will learn

not to worry the tomorrows

but to cherish

TODAY

and to follow the path

wherever it may lead

trusting the journey

trusting that I will be cared for

in ways I can't even imagine yet

not only will I LEARN

but I will leave bridges behind me

I Want to Fight

{Post: 291/365}

today

I want to fight

I want to

be strong

have faith

move forward

and 

embrace change

but 

sometimes

I still get

swallowed

in the darkness

of my life

depression

sorrow

no hope

I need

inspiration

I need 

encouragement

too

but not today

today

I want to

FIGHT

A Purpose

{Posy: 286/365}

just another

new idea

percolating

in the chaos

of my mind

what am I fighting for

to share

to build a bridge

to carve a path

to make the way

easier

for those who come 

behind me

I hope my lessons

will be found

VALID

and will pave

an easier path ahead

it is a purpose

Fighting

{Post: 187/365}

fighting

to stay up

and positive

to stay on track

not to give in

to despair

and frustration

to keep working

and moving forward

for the betterment

of myself

and the future

and also

my children

what I learn

can help them

as well as myself

so to fight

is worth it

and so I shall

FIGHT

on and on