Monday, January 31, 2011

It IS Miraculous...

{Post 31/365: original Post: What I Want MY Children to KNOW}
It is miraculous.
One day you have a baby with chubby cheeks, big eyes, an innocent heart and many questions about life and the world.
Then overnight it seems you look at an intelligent, capable, funny young PERSON with ideas and wit and charm and the ability to reason for themselves why the world works as it does.
Their ideas may NOT be the same as yours.
Sometimes if you can suspend your own ego long enough to accept it, their ideas are BETTER.
Sometimes they can leave you totally in awe of how smart they are and how in tune to the ebbs and flows and under-currents of  everything in life.
Then sometimes...again, they will show you the innocent child.  They won't really, truly understand anything at all yet and you realize, for but a moment you understood their vast potential to be everything they could be and MORE.  
That is why YOU are their guiding hand. That is why YOU teach them all that you know to be good and right and true, and HOW to work out for themselves with their own mind, ideas, perceptions...whatever other problems they encounter in life.
That is why you do the best you can to encourage and support and raise independent, capable, free thinking individuals with the strength and resolve to follow their own beliefs and convictions and hearts.
And that is why, when it is LET GO.
You let them drop from the nest...and you watch them FLY!

Love is delicate.

{Post 30/365: Original Post: I AM LOVE}
Love is strong yet delicate.
It can be broken.
To truly love is to understand this.
To be in love is to respect this.
~ Stephen Packer ~  

Trust is a fragile thing. Once broken it CAN be fixed and renewed but, for many it is a LONG, HARD road there. I, myself, lack the strength to follow that path.
Some people can be betrayed and forgive and move on many times. Some have a "three strikes your out" kind of rule.  Maybe, others like me, have a ONE time mistake kind of deal.  For me, it really depends on the person who has betrayed me I think, and the degree to which I feel such betrayal.  But, usually a person only gets ONE chance to show me who they are and that they can be a person I can trust.
I am not talking about acquaintances or chat buddies or casual types of friends.
I'm talking about the people I would choose to go the distance with me.
The people I want to know have my back, understand my needs and faults and quirks and will decide to "keep" me matter what because they VALUE me.
The people I can trust with my joys and sorrows equally.
The people I would trust with my life and more importantly my heart.
My intimate, vulnerable, soft heart.
I would forgive.
I would still talk.
I would still care.
I would still be polite.
I would still encourage and support and be sweet to them.
But, internally and deeply inside I would NEVER again be the same.
I know that people make mistakes.
I know that people make stupid choices sometimes.
And I would understand and forgive and move forward but, I would never again be able to trust them with 100% conviction.
I would always have an understanding deep inside myself that THEY did not value me as much as I did them.  That they deliberately and knowingly decided to betray my trust and faith in them for a selfish reason.
That is human. It happens. It can be forgiven.
But, not always by me.
Perhaps that is a flaw of my own.
Perhaps it is a big one.
Then again, I would not purposefully nor intentionally betray anyone's trust in ME.
Since I have a few friends who can also say the same I KNOW that it IS possible for other people to choose to commit to that very same strength of WORD.
I value THEM.  
Love and trust are deeply connected and without one it is very very difficult to keep the other intact and strong. So my advice is...keep your word, don't betray your trust, and when you say I love you...MEAN IT!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Book That Changed MY LIFE

{Post 29/365: Original Post: Reading, Writing & Rocking MY World}
I have struggled with this topic.
I have wanted to be a writer a long time and it seems the older I get the closer I come to understanding that my best form of writing is poetry. I AM a poet. I have always been.
I have also always been a READER. From this blog and others I write, that will soon become evident as I share as many of the books I have read in my life as I can remember.
But, I'm not sure I have even ONE book that CHANGED my life because I read it never mind a whole list of them. Though I know I have read books that touched me and I have always carried them with me because they opened my eyes to differences and possibilities and a wider understanding of life, of people, of friendship, of loyalty, of love, of spirit, of heart, and of SOUL.
So when I think of books that I have read and which ones HAVE been the ones that changed the flow of my life I can only say the biggest one was the first book I ever read ALL BY MYSELF.  I was about 4 years old and I remember reading it all by myself and that was the beginning of a voracious reading appetite for anything and everything WORDS.
I'm even the girl who will read the dictionary...for fun.
I have been known to enjoy reading encyclopedias...not for research purposes but for my own amusement, education and entertainment. I like to know things.
If I don't know them, then I will go look them up.
I own more than one dictionary, thesaurus, and writing help book. Yes, I do. I own MANY.
I own a beautiful book called a Word Menu and another called a Describer's Dictionary but, I guess since I've always wanted to be a writer these aren't really strange books to own!
My love affair with the written word began all those years ago, the very first time I ever read....Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer!! :) I still remember the book.  I read the very same book to my two older children. It is long gone now but never forgotten because it opened up the whole world to me (and the LOVE of Santa Claus and Rudolph!). Not just ideas and understandings of the REAL world but also of the ENORMOUS and RICH fantasy world that can live inside EACH of us!
It is good to be a dreamer and have an open mind.
So are there other books that changed my life? HELL yes! ALL of them.
Every book has the possibility of opening your eyes to something new and different and EVERY one is therefore a new adventure and a potentially life changing experience.
It doesn't have to be a light bulb moment! It doesn't have to come like fireworks.
It can come in the subtle and soft moments when an author's voice plants the seed of an idea in your mind or touches your heart with a lasting feeling or impression and brings an even tiny and imperceptible change to the flow of your being.
I think we are all touched by what we read and can change and grow as a result of it!
And again I VOW to read more in 2011 because I have been missing a lot of good stories!

Friday, January 28, 2011


{Post 28/365: Original Post: I AM a QUEEN}
I am thinking about what it feels like to fall in love. To BE in love.
I'm thinking about all the feelings we can feel when this happens.
I'm thinking about how blind we can be to soft subtle changes we make to co-exist, to compromise, to accommodate each other and how easy it then is to give up our "self" in the name of LOVE.
In the name of "LOVE" and peace keeping we give in to our partner's needs more often.
In soft, quiet, subtle ways we give up our own right to choice because we "love" that other person so much.

A wise friend told me once that "love isn't about what we take but, what we give" and so many of us are willing to give EVERYTHING that we lose ourselves in the process.

I am one of these people.
The all-in, all or nothing, jump in feet first, anything for love kind.
I don't think that's wrong.
I don't see anything wrong with wanting to do and be and say everything and anything you can to make the other person as happy as you can make them.
As long as it is TRUE. As long as it does not HARM you. As long as you don't LOSE you.
As long as you recognize it is NOT your responsibility to BE their happiness.
As long as you don't accept their choices as your own.
As long as you don't allow them to manipulate and control you out of guilt or insecurity or fear that they will leave, that they will hurt you, that they will punish you for having the right to choose your own path.

Sometimes we will stay in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of love because we don't want to be a failure in love. We don't want to be "wrong" for not having the strength to endure. We don't want to believe that we weren't good enough or didn't do enough, or didn't try our hardest. We don't want to disappoint our families, friends, children, and mostly ourselves.

Sometimes you can love someone else with all of your being, mind, heart and soul and they just don't equal your love. They are just NOT the right person for you.
It's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole!

It is OK to move on.

LOVE really shouldn't be like fitting a square peg in a round hole.

When you find the RIGHT person it is like puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together.

It is like coming home to yourself.

It is like recognizing yourself in someone else.

It is knowing that you can be your WHOLE self, flaws and all and be accepted for just exactly who you are.
It is knowing that you can choose your own path and they will encourage, support and stand beside you all the way! EVEN if they don't always LIKE every choice you make.
It is making mistakes and learning from them and growing separately and together...FORWARD...towards a deeper and more intimate relationship together.
It is KNOWING that they are the other half of you and YOU are better WITH them now than you were before by yourself.

YOU are YOU, 
HE is HE
and together you are MORE


Thursday, January 27, 2011

Living Without Goodies

{Post 27/365: Original Post: FatCatMomma's Fave Fare}

Living without all the edible goodies in this world is sad.
When you have health issues like me it is better to do all that you can to make it easier for the body to do it's job and therefore when Drs., nurses and dieticians tell you not to eat all the things they tell you not to eat, you don't eat all those things.
At LEAST you try not to eat them on a regular basis!
But, I cannot give up everything for always.
That would make life unbearable.
Even tho sometimes eating what I LOVE can be hurtful and I can pay for a whole DAY afterwards, to me it is worth it.
A life without some of the pleasures you need, whether guilty ones or not, is NO life at all.
SO...instead of being excessive I try for the most part to be GOOD and then occasionally treat myself to something I want or enjoy!
THAT IS a compromise that I CAN live with!
So...since I cannot enjoy these things OFTEN I have decided to share them so other people may find some joy from them! lol
In that way I haven't just given things up but passed them on for others to use.
So it doesn't feel a waste but just a letting go of, a passing it on kind of thing.  
I'm ok with that.
I have a lot of good recipes to share!
You can also find recipes in two of my other blogs as well and I'm sure sometimes they will overlap but, there is a method to my madness!!
Crunchings and Munchings is the blog where I keep meal plans and ideas for my restricted diet.  It is meant to HELP me keep on track!
Burgers, Boys & BEER is the blog where I post about family & friend get togethers and all the party food we share when we do get together! (Sometimes healthy snacks, and sometimes NOT so healthy...BUT always good!!)
AND FatCatMomma's Fave Fare is HERE where I'll post anything and everything I have enjoyed eating throughout the years and some things I haven't tried yet but would like to.  Hopefully from one of these blogs you'll find something *NEW* to try at least once! AND enjoy! smile

LOVE Everywhere

{Post 26/365: Original Post: I AM LOVE}

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
~Mother Teresa

It is easy to love the people we love and much more difficult to love the "OTHER"
I want to try to be better at loving the ones who are more difficult to love.
The ones who come at the world already on the defensive OR already on the attack.
The ones who are trying to "get them...before they get me"!
The ones who put on a gruff exterior and grumpy face or attitude to hide the fact that they are sad and lonely and unloved, and that they need to be wanted and understood and heard as well.
The ones who combat the world and all in it aggressively because they hunger deeply for a soft touch, for a gentle word, for a friend.
The ones who are lost and broken and alone.

WE are all these people at one time or another ourselves.
Since WE know how hard it is to heal ourselves, BY ourselves, then we should always aspire to help anyone who is following behind us with a hand up or an encouragement.
SOMETIMES, that makes all the difference!!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Drop in the Ocean

{Post 25/365: Original Post: I AM LOVE}

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean.
But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.
~Mother Teresa~

I'm trying hard to realize that my words, my voice, while just a small drop in a big ocean, really would be missed. A friend told me "it is better to be a small speck in a big world and make positive impact on people than to be a big speck in a small world and be nothing to people" and I think he's right.
I strive to do that.
Every day.

Monday, January 24, 2011


{Post 24/365: Original Post: MysticLOVEAngel}

Compassion Quotes:
Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
It's a beautiful statement of truth.
We can all choose to give.  We can all choose to have a heart full of grace and allow our soul of love to be open and free.
It can be difficult at times.  Especially when we have that particular neighbour or maybe co-worker who might push us to the limits or just rub us the wrong way but, it is always better to choose on the side of love and gentleness because often we don't really know the reasons why they are the people who irritate us most.
Perhaps, they are there simply to test our strength or resolve.
I have that neighbour and on occasion even I fall short and fail that test.
But I try.
That's all any of us can do.
I am strong enough to endure and therefore I will.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

RED is the colour of LOVE

{Post 23/365: Original Post: HubPages and Verisimilitude}


This is the colour red:
sweet red summer raspberries
tulips in the sunshine
sparkling red fireworks on Canada Day
fresh apples plucked from a tree in the orchard
deep red roses and hearts of love
juicy ripe red strawberries in cream
beautiful shiny red and silver ornaments on the Christmas tree
round red cherry tomatoes
red hot chili peppers
the big man in the red suit- ho ho ho
the attractive leaves of a Japanese maple
more of the juicy sweet berries
warm hearts full of love for the holidays and family
RED is the colour of LOVE and home.

Triple Birthday Bash

Post 22/365: Original Post: Burgers, Boys & BEER}
Last night we had a triple birthday bash for three of our friends!
It was a great time, lots of fun had, a birthday cake for three and good food.

Along with the usual snacks like popcorn, corn chips, pretzels and chips we also had everyone's favourite taco dip with tostitos. (RECIPE to follow).  The drinkers were drinking whatever their fave drinks were and we all got to share some of our fave party "drinks"...the infamous JELLO SHOOTERS!! Woohoo!!

It's always fun to have our friends come over for a good evening.
Good friends, good food, good music, good times!
Happy Birthday!
We hope you had a great time too!!

1 500ml container of sour cream
1 taco seasoning mix
1 medium tomato
3 green onions
1 cup of grated cheddar cheese

  • Mix sour cream and taco seasoning mix together.
  • Spoon into a flat dish like a pie pan.
  • Grate cheese and sprinkle over sour cream mix.
  • Chop tomato into cubes and sprinkle on top of dip.
  • Chop green onions and sprinkle on dip.
  • Eat with nacho chips. ;)
  • ENJOY!

Friday, January 21, 2011

I RESPECT Myself & Others

{Post 21/365: Original Post: I AM a QUEEN}
I have looked RESPECT up in a dictionary/thesaurus so there is NO confusion for myself or anyone else.

To have a high opinion of: admire, consider, esteem, honor, regard, value.
To recognize the worth, quality, importance, or magnitude of: appreciate, cherish, esteem, prize, treasure, value.

A feeling of deference, approval, and liking: account, admiration, appreciation, consideration, esteem, estimation, favor, honor, regard.
A person's high standing among others: dignity, good name, good report, honor, prestige, reputation, repute, status.

I cannot be a queen if I don't FIRST respect myself and then also respect others.
I respect MYSELF by honouring the gifts and qualities that make me uniquely ME.
I respect myself by accepting my faults and flaws and understanding they are just part of me.
I respect myself by NOT beating myself up verbally, mentally and even physically for making ANY of the mistakes I have made, haven't made yet, and will absolutely make in the future.
I respect the inner voice of my own heart and soul and that it knows the difference between right and wrong and chooses to do right.
Therefore, I respect myself by NOT making choices that hurt me or feed into my own self-pity, and/or the lies that I tell myself daily.
I choose to follow the voice in my heart when it is being kind and selfless and giving and generous and honest and loving. NOT follow it when it is being petty or selfish or angry or vengeful or evil or full of HATE.
I respect myself when I honour the relationships I am part of. With my family and friends and all the people that I meet. We are all different.  Because five people come to a place by a different path doesn't make any of them WRONG...just different.   That is ok.
We can agree to disagree. We can respect each other and that we each have a right to choose and live and believe and love by our own paths.
It will not make me LESS for being open to the differences.
It will only show my respect for their right to choose for themselves.
Life is an individual journey for each of us and we are all learning daily as we go along.
So how does it hurt me to open my heart and mind to new ideas and possibilities?
To understand that we don't all do everything the very same way and that is ok.
I also must understand that I am myself human and therefore imperfect.  So while I realize I need to respect myself I also understand that I will sometimes fall short of the mark and that is also ok. I will fall prey to the hurt and insecurity and anger just like anyone else.
I will fight. I will hurt.
I will cry.
I will forgive.
I will hug. I will laugh. I will love.
I will disrespect and I will respect and I will continue to strive and learn and grow stronger and healthier inside myself and towards myself and then to everyone else as well.
I will respect myself with compassion and dignity.

I HOPE that there are far more days of respect than there are of disrespect for MYSELF, FROM myself to YOU, and FROM all of you to ME too!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Silence and Truth

{Post 20/365: Original Post: Magsmomma: FEEL ME}
In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.~Mahatma Gandhi~

We find it inside ourselves.
And we find it through research and questions and listening and learning.
It is the voice that you hear inside your very own soul.
Sometimes it comes when someone you've met or even known a long time wakes you up.
You feel like you've been inside a long sleep but then, in a moment you see clarity and understand.
Sometimes, I ASSUME, it comes when you meditate.
When you spend time inside your own silence, listening to your own heart and soul and mind.
In the deep quiet places inside.
I have long avoided and feared those places.
I have long kept myself busy and noisy and cluttered and chaotic.
I fear.
That is why I ASSUME.
Because I don't really know.
I don't know how to meditate as people do when they learn or take courses or lessons to understand.
I only know that...
It is time now to search even deeper, learn even more about myself.
It is time to find the pathways to silence and TRUTH.
I don't know where to begin.
No, that isn't the truth.  I am still afraid to begin.
It isn't important where or when or how to begin.  
Just that I do!
So...somehow I will begin.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

MY 10 Guilty Pleasures

{Post 19/365: Original Post: Sucks To Be ME}
Guilty Pleasures.
The phrase itself brings to mind many things that I enjoy even though I do have some guilt however small for doing so.
Here follows my list of ten (in no particular order):

  • 1. Alcohol.
    Vodka makes my bones ache, gin makes my fingers swell, beer makes me sleepy and nauseous, rye gets me drunk but sick for days, wine gives me wicked wicked heartburn, and tequila makes me an asshole-any wonder I don't want to drink? lol and yet, I miss the on occasion I have a few and regret it later. :( It is a very guilty pleasure.

  • 2. Ebay.
    I can spend hours on ebay, watching a variety of things and sometimes get VERY good deals because I have the time to spend, watching, waiting, stalking my prize.
    I have, on occasion spent too much money purchasing items and YES I succumb to the temptation of WINNING the bid by jumping in at the last minute and out-bidding someone else just for the sheer fun of it!
    Usually though I am just happy to find something I can't get here where I live, have it shipped to my street, and fulfill a birthday or Christmas wish all at the same time.
    YES, this is sometimes a guilty PLEASURE!

  • 3. Chocolate.
    Enough said.

  • 4. Ice Cream
    A guilty pleasure because I ALWAYS pay for eating it.
    I no longer eat dairy every day. I am allowed 1/2 a cup a day but some days I have none and some days I might have twice that so ice cream is a very sinful treat but eating it hurts my tummy! :( (I will never give it up though!)
    It also elevates my sugar because I have type 2 diabetes.
    STILL...will have to feed my insatiable need for it...once in awhile. ;)

  • 5. Stationary
    It doesn't matter which store I shop in I LOVE the stationary section.
    Pens, paper, folders, notebooks, notepads, loose lined paper, memo books, hard back name it I LOVE it!
    It is beautiful to find a notebook with some cute design or statement.
    It is also beautiful to open a fresh unblemished page and allow your mind free reign of possibilities. I don't do THAT enough!

  • 6. PJs
    Actually, the guilty pleasure is in sitting around in them ALL day, even when I am NOT sick! Though when I am sick, pjs are a comfort. Curling up in my chair or on the couch in my pjs with my warm blankie to watch a movie or read a good book or magazine...HEAVEN!!

  • 7. CryBaby (movie with Johnny Depp)
    It is absolutely a ridiculously funny and quirky MUSICAL that I just love.
    It makes me laugh. I enjoy it. AND I am NOT ashamed to admit it! lol

  • 8. Ice Cream & Onion Rings
    I realize I already mentioned Ice Cream but the only thing better than it by itself is...
    eating onion rings for supper and ice cream for dessert.
    THIS is guaranteed to hurt...a LOT...but it is something I sometimes need to do...
    unfortunately for me and happily for the Drs. who take care of me, we no longer have a Dairy Queen where I can indulge this particular guilty pleasure! :( I MISS it soooooo much!!

  • 9. Jewelry Parts
    I can spend hours at the bead store digging and sorting through the mixed bead bin finding pieces and colours I like and can use.
    I can spend hours on ebay looking for everything I could possibly need and sometimes...spend way too much money because I get carried away and buy TOO MANY of the great deals at the same time which adds up you know!!
    I can spend hours on the internet in supplies catalogues as well.
    I frequently spend too much time looking for parts and also patterns but, I must say I ENJOY!

  • 10. Potatoes
    Baked, french fries, hash browns, patties, in a shepherd's pie, mashed and creamy with gravy, crunchy as potato chips, boiled new potatoes with butter, home fries, done in a pot roast, and even in soups and stews....I am meant to soak them for 6 hrs first, or double boil them but as you can see that would kind of spoil the way I enjoy eating them so I eat rice more often instead! I have as of yet, not been able to cut out potatoes completely tho I do try!

    So, now that I've shared my guilty pleasures with you...what are yours?
  • Tuesday, January 18, 2011

    Write what ya KNOW...

    {Post 18/365: Original Post: Burgers, Boys & BEER}
    Write what you know they say....hmmmmm....well alright...
    Boys, burgers and no particular
    I can't say I know ALL the boys...there are just too many!! So MANY boys so little time!! hehehe
    But, I know MY boys and I know what they like to eat because I've spent a lot of years FEEDING them...all the bad, fattening, awful-for-you party foods that we ALL enjoy eating! ;)...AND, yes I also have fed them good things as well!
    I'm writing about menus and meals and restricted diet plans in a separate blog because I can't eat or drink too much of the fun stuff anymore but, there is no reason why I can't share all the yummies that we have all enjoyed over the years here for everyone else to try!!
    So this is the party blog!!! WELCOME! ;)

    I have always loved food.
    I have at times used food to comfort myself.
    I have been cooking food for others since I was 12 or 13 because my father was sick, my mother had to work and I had to help out! So I have always known how to cook for a family of four or more.
    I get BORED! I grew up in a meat and potato meal know...pork chops, a roast, steak, ham, whatever...WITH potatoes and some kind of veggie.  Also, usually with gravy too...and don't get me wrong...these are wonderful meals sometimes but I get BORED...I need variety in my's the spice of life you know! lol
    So I have learned to try a recipe and tweak it here and there sometimes to fit my own tastes or that of my hubby and we've tried MANY.  I LOVE this man for being the adventurous sort and being willing to eat all the many new recipes I have found and tried and also kind of invented over the years! Kudos to you've got an adventurous spirit! (Especially living through all the less than wonderful experiments too!)
    Hubby is often the guinea pig that has to test some of the things the other boys just get to enjoy after they've already become something GOOD! lol
    Tho my oldest son always says his fave things I make are the things I just kind of throw into a pot together! The standing joke around here is that we're having "pig puke" for supper (sorry!).
    I have always been a nurturer and since I was eighteen and out on my own enjoyed cooking good meals for my friends.  Usually this happens at an annual Christmas Dinner but, also can be because we've decided to have friends over for a meal or we've planned a birthday potluck to celebrate our friend's birthdays as well as those of our family.
    So, I may have many recipes, ideas and foods to share.
    I might also have some funny friend stories.
    I hope that I will express properly the love and joy I share with my friends and family at our parties and in our home and that you will feel you would be welcome at our table. ;)

    Monday, January 17, 2011

    List Poem

    {Post 17/365: Original Post: KD Bissonette on Triond}

    What’s in the clutter in my corner 
    three storage boxes of beads 
    a pen cup full of pens, pencils and highlighters
    lip balm in vanilla flavour and one hydro care made by nivea 
    my scanner buried under notpads, index cards and Ontario travel guides 
    a pair of Woman's World magazines given to me by mom
    my cell phone
    various boxes of random things like camera cords and jewelry tools and wire 
    a stack of easy recipe cookbooks for trying something new

    Sunday, January 16, 2011

    Purple IS...Calm Solitude

    {Post 16/365: Original Post: HubPages}

    Calm Solitude

    This is the colour purple:
    crocuses in the spring
    the sweet smell of lilac wafting on the breeze
    purple tulips
    the colour of a queen
    clover in the grass
    brilliant purple fireworks in the sky
    one part of the colourful rainbow after the rain
    vibrant reflections of the depth of my soul
    purple is mystery and magic
    purple is the feeling of calm and solitude

    Saturday, January 15, 2011


    {Post 15/365: Original Post: {Magsmomma/MUSE}

    You are who you are.
    I am who I am.
    We are who we are to each other.
    As we have always been.
    As we will always be.
    Our hearts were tied together...
    as they were meant to be
    Regardless of choice
    Regardless of life
    Regardless of anyone else
    Or anything
    You are my muse
    Life is better with you in it.