how to explain
or express
that every time
some new
and disturbing
change occurs
in my body
I feel
TERRIFIED
I accept
that PARTS of this
are mine to own
and I could have done
better things
made better choices
but much of this
is NOT my fault
it is the accident
of my birth
into a crappy gene pool
from one parent
the gift of
polycystic kidneys and gout
from the other parent
a family history
of diabetes
as well as arthritis
which won't help later at all
so I try hard
to make changes
and better choices
NOW
but it is hard
and sometimes life
and circumstance
fight against me
in a steady stream of obstacles
it is a daily struggle
but I keep fighting
and hoping
that slow and steady
really does win the race
because otherwise
tomorrow looks bleak
and I don't want
to meet it
:(
