Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween

{Post: 305/365}
ghosts and ghouls
vampires
and frankenstein
monsters
trick or treat
bags of candies
parties
dress up
bobbing for apples
haunted houses
spooky soundtracks
smoke and mirrors
blood and gore
slasher movies
psycho killers
horror and more
these are the things
Halloween
brings to my mind

Happy Halloween all!
Stay safe!

My HOPE

{Post: 304/365}
I found this poem in one of my stacks of papers. I don't remember when I wrote it but I would like to share it now.

once upon a moment
I carried a dream
in my womb
he touched my heart
for only a moment
but I have not
forgotten
I will never forget
he wasn't mine to keep
but he was, IS
and always will be
a cherished moment
of HOPE

Monday, October 29, 2012

Naptime

{Post: 302/365}
cuddling
with Boo 
the sleepy kitty
reminds me
that I am sleepy also
and I would enjoy
a nap


Angel LOVE

{Post: 302/365}
when I create
an angel for you
whether it is a pendant
on a chain
an ornament
for your Christmas tree
or just a token of love
for your pocket
I am thinking of YOU
I am thinking of
your favourite colour
whether or not
you believe in angels
of how deeply
connected we are
how much love I have for you
how huge my wish for 
love and peace
and angel protection
is for you
and that my creation
will be filled
with all that emotion
and love
and every time
you wear it
or see it
or touch it
you will think of me
and know
LOVE

Handmade Gifts

{Post: 301/365}
the countdown
has begun
I have no time
so TODAY
is making a plan
for Christmas
day!
bust out
the creative bomb
and MAKE
some pretty
and useful
gifts
for my friends
and family
and hope
that it really is true
handmade gifts
are better
because they are
made with love
and a portion of my time
I AM thinking of YOU 
when I choose
a pattern
an idea
a statement
and every time
I also give 
a piece of myself
and the flow of my love

Restless

{Post: 300}
(OMG! Only 65 posts left and we're onto another 365 days!! WooHoo!!! I've posted 300 poems!!!)

I do not
know what to do
with myself
I don't know
which way to turn
or what to do next
so many things
rise to the surface
so many ideas
brimming
so many thoughts
doubts, fears
so many choices
and I can't decide
which is the WAY
which way to go
which idea to
energize
I am just
restless

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Complacent

{Post: 299/365}
I don't know
what to do
about this
and that
and the other thing
it is easy to say
change your life
and some say
also
easy to do
but I can't see how
what the what
there are only some things 
that I CAN do
and sometimes
I honestly
don't WANT to
I don't hate my life
maybe I've just
been stuck 
in the same place
for so long that 
I can't see the path
maybe I am
complacent

Waiting

{Post: 298/365}
waiting
and being patient
is not my 
strong suit
it leaves me
too much time
to let my mind
wander
and suppose
and come up with
all the horrible
things that could 
go wrong
be time already!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Halloween Party

{Post: 297/365}
it's almost time
to dress up
in costume
whether goofy,
frightening and creepy
or just plain cute
and have the 
best costume contest
at our annual party
and guess the number
of Halloween candies
gift pail
time to drink
listen to "Halloween" music
my fave always:
The Hall of the Mountain King
and eat disgustingly
creepy treats
like:
Bloody Bug Juice
Creepy Mummy Dogs
Roasted Alien Fingers
Caterpillar Kebobs
Puking Pumpkin Dip
Rat Cheese Spread
and
enjoying
laughter, food and fun
with our friends
I can't wait!

Angel With An Edge

{Post: 296/365}
when I began
I could hardly believe
the possibility
or the existence of
earth angels
which are simply
people with
deep love and compassion
who bring light
and healing
to others
throughout their lives
friends often tell them
"you're an angel"
but of course
we don't really believe that
even if we are flattered
and sometimes even frustrated by it
but I have learned
to embrace
the truths and the lessons
I have begun to understand
it has made clear
many things about myself
that felt so different
and I am still
but now
I'm not afraid to be ME
I'm not afraid to love
I CAN and DO
shine a light into the darkness
for many
encourage and support
and even inspire
and I AM human
so I am NOT pristinely pure
but I AM
an angel
maybe just...
an angel with an edge

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I Want to Share

{Post: 295/365}
what is the truth
of healing
dare I hope
for an ending
far different
than the one 
I expect
is there another path
is there another choice
or is this it
the journey I must take
the lessons I will learn
the pain I will endure
the fear I will face
the time I may waste
or do I just 
use as much of this time
as I can
to leave something behind
to share what I have learned
to build a bridge for those
who follow behind
and share my fate
share my journey
I don't know the answers
to many of the questions
but I want to share
whatever I can
while I can


I Embrace Chaos

{Post: 294/365}
I am learning
various things
about myself
many of the things
I am NOT
as well as 
many things
that I AM
one thing 
I have learned
is that I
am very poor
at following
a schedule
I am afraid
that I embrace
chaos
even though
it also drives me
insane
I have learned
that no matter 
how hard I try
I cannot stand
to do the same thing
to wear the same thing
to eat the same thing
day in 
and day out
I MUST
have variety
I MUST
have differences
of taste and flavour
of ideas and opinions
of colours and greys
and that my mind
cannot be bored
by the same dreary story
every day
but needs engagement
with something
NEW and BRIGHT
and diverse
and this is how I GROW

I Will Fight

{Post: 293/365}
what will 
tomorrow bring
but more
stress, worry
and fear
I don't believe
I am strong enough
not to fear
not to doubt
not to wail and moan
and cry in misery
and sorrow
for my plight
and yet I know
that I will take a breath
and another
and I will
survive
each moment
as I am faced with them
I know
that I will fight
in the ways that I know
in the ways that I have
and I may yet learn
new ways as well
i will learn
not to worry the tomorrows
but to cherish
TODAY
and to follow the path
wherever it may lead
trusting the journey
trusting that I will be cared for
in ways I can't even imagine yet
not only will I LEARN
but I will leave bridges behind me

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Balance

{Post: 292/365}
looking for
balance
in my life
between
needed exercise
my health
a restricted 
and boring diet
and time
to do the things 
i want to do
to read
to write
to travel
to meet 
and spend time 
with friends
I keep trying
to find
the perfect balance

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I Want to Fight

{Post: 291/365}
today
I want to fight
I want to
be strong
have faith
move forward
and 
embrace change
but 
sometimes
I still get
swallowed
in the darkness
of my life
depression
sorrow
no hope
I need
inspiration
I need 
encouragement
too
but not today
today
I want to
FIGHT

Finding the Way

{Post: 290/365}
finding
my path
finding 
the next bend
in the road
learning
to face it
and embrace it
instead of
freaking out
running for the hills
hiding from the truth
owning my space
sharing my voice
shining my light
growing
into my soul

Monday, October 15, 2012

The Best Poem

{Post: 289/365}
sometimes
the best poem
flows in words
like water
unbidden
no knowledge
beforehand
of the language
or feelings 
to be expressed
it requests
to be written
or spoken
and then it is
what was before
just a fleeting
moment
or the flicker of an
idea
becomes
a soft spoken whisper
of poetry
and a soul message

Deeper Levels

{Post: 288/365}
there are places
inside me
I don't want
to see
to know
to understand
and yet
new doors
open inside me
constantly
sometimes I close them
immediately
and sometimes
I stand looking
into the abyss
not ready to enter
and still other times
I know
that deep inside myself
is only myself
I will not destroy
me
I will only find
a deeper level
another facet
MORE
of myself
sometime soon
I will embrace
my own deeper levels
and then I will come into ME
and I will BE

HOPE

{Post: 287/365}
I have discovered
something
it is small
sometimes
so small that
it seems to 
disappear
and yet
I cannot escape it
it is inside me
deep inside me
this abiding
thing
small
and unnoticeable
but strong
really
unbreakable
just a seed
when nourished
can blossom
into something
unshakable
and fierce
no matter how small
I believe
it is 
my
HOPE


A Purpose

{Posy: 286/365}
just another
new idea
percolating
in the chaos
of my mind
what am I fighting for
to share
to build a bridge
to carve a path
to make the way
easier
for those who come 
behind me
I hope my lessons
will be found
VALID
and will pave
an easier path ahead
it is a purpose

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

BooBoo

{Post: 285/365}
such a little
sweet pea
adorable
cuddly
fiesty and fun
exploring the world
and facing
the big kitties
even though
they are cranky girls
and keep hissing at you!
soon enough 
they will come around
and life will feel
like you have been a part of it
always
sweet little buddy
our BooBoo

What Will Be, Will Be

{Post: 284/365}
through
darker times than these
I have survived
and I refuse
to give up
even if every day
is a struggle
i will continue on
tomorrow
may be a brighter day
and I will strive
to meet it
what will be, will be

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I Will NOT Beg

{Post: 283/365}
I am NOT
going to beg
if the universe
is really
in alignment
with what I need
then
what will be will be
I will receive the call
I will receive the help
I will lose the stress
and life will stop
being such a huge
struggle
and disappointment
to me
I NEED help
but I will NOT beg
I leave it to be what it will

Monday, October 8, 2012

If Only in Spirit

{Post: 282/365}
if only in spirit
I know
that you lift
my eyes
to seek
higher goals
and a more
meaningful
purpose
you cannot 
lift your hand 
to wipe away
my tears
but if you could
you would
you hope and dream
for my goals to be
met and reached
just as much as
your own
if only in spirit
I know
there is a deeper
and stronger
reason
that we are connected
that we compliment each other
and only become
better
and stronger
and wiser
with each hurdle in life
that we share
and I am grateful
for YOU
I thank GOD
for you
and if only in spirit
I know
that IS friendship
that IS love
and that you will always be
the mirror through which
I see myself
BEST

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Thank You

{Post: 281/365}
I am
grateful
for you
the one who
brings light into the dark corners
the one who
brings laughter to my heart
the one who 
engages my mind
the one who
reminds me
of my own beauty
and power
the one who
allows me to shine
the one who
sparks joy in my soul
the one who
asks my spirit to dance
the one who
shows me reflections
of myself
the one who
helps me to grow
stronger every day
thank you
for being you
and for loving 
ME

Angel Baby

{Post: 280/365}
stress and worry
for an entire 
pregnancy
and then
the birth
of an angel baby
my son
my light
my joy
my gift to hubby
my final creation
of blood and heart and soul
the light of my life
I hope the lessons I learned
from Abba and Sissy
help me
be an even better mother
for you

Son

{Post: 279/365}
my firstborn son
my lifeline
in a tumultuous life
the greatest joy
and deepest sorrows
both
from babyhood
to teenage years
to now
a grown man
a good heart
a beautiful mind
a sensitive soul
and a man I am proud of
strong
able
sometimes impulsive
with his own unique
perspective
finding his way
he is beautiful
he is my son

Daughter

{Post: 278/365}
beautiful
pink and rosy baby
and right away
she smiled at me
she heard the sound of my voice
and smiled
and she was
independent
saucy
strong
and still is all that
and much more
I am proud of her
of her courage
of her ability
to recognize
and embrace
her own faults 
and imperfections
and still
embrace
who she is
still have fierce
independence and
strength
and a willingness to grow
and change
she is brave
and strong
she is beautiful
she is my daughter

Letting Go

{Post: 277/365}
it couldn't be
clearer
to me
that I worry
and stress
for nothing
and that it is
just another way
in which
I punish myself
for what?
for having a heart
for caring about someone
more than they ever could 
care for me
for being willing
to open my heart
and give it
for being willing to give
and accommodate
and love
with everything that I am
that is neither a fault
nor a failing
and I am not sorry for offering it
that you do not appreciate 
the gift that is ME
is ALL on YOU
I say no more
and I will 
teach my heart
to follow
what my head
already knows
and I will
let GO

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Creative BOMB

{Post: 276/365}
beads
findings
string
connectors
colours
and fancy pieces
spread out all over the bed
a piece here
and a wire there
some beads
and a new creation
is born
when I begin
in a small area
to build and create
one of my pretties
it never stays small
before long
the whole bed is covered
in this and that
and I have
not one
not two
or even three
projects on the go
but MANY
the ideas of where to go next
spread out
into the results
of my latest
creative BOMB

Change

{Post: 275/365}
I don't like it
not all change 
is GOOD
maybe in the end
I will see
what IS good
in it
after the bricks fall
and the dust flies
after the old 
passes on 
and something new is born
after the flames 
burn down to ash
and once again 
the phoenix
rises anew
begins again
with fresh eyes
a clean heart
and a stronger soul
maybe then
I will KNOW
that change is GOOD
after all

I AM...A MIRACLE

{Post: 274/365}
from the moment
I became
a twinkle
in God's eye
and created 
in HIS image
I have been
a MIRACLE
of divine creation
and so are YOU
when you consider
everything that IS
included in the make up
of a human being
don't you SEE
don't you KNOW
don't you UNDERSTAND
the heighth
the breadth
the width
the MAGNITUDE
the DEPTHS 
of who and what you are?
you and I ARE
beautiful
vibrant
visions of LIFE
and we are 
MIRACLE

Queen

{Post: 273/365}
I am
STRONG
I can do this
I am
A QUEEN
I have strength
dignity
beauty
respect
love
acceptance
forgiveness
and power
for MYSELF
I can and will
STAND
for myself
and against 
whatever 
comes my way

Bitter

{Post: 272/365}
there are times
when I think
the hurt and indignation
is gone
over
that I have let go
that I have moved forward
and forgiven
and then
something
irks me again
reminds me
draws my attention
feeds my guilt
and the ignorance
that kept me blind so long
nags me
boils hotly in my blood
and I am angry again
that I invested so much
that I gave myself
that it matters so much
and it was nothing 
but a lie
it is hard to let go
it is hard not to be
bitter
and I am

Reading

{Post: 271/365}
sometimes
time with
a good book
is an escape
from the monotony
and drudgery of life
a journey into
romance
intrigue
complex and interesting
characters
and adventures
for a time
the troubles
of life
are held at bay
and someone else's story
catches your mind
for awhile

Struggling

{Post: 270/365}
struggling
to find
faith
to believe
"an angel once told me,
to believe"
and I did
and I do
and then the doubt
bowls me over
and encroaches
on the tiny
space of belief 
in my heart
and I worry
and stress
and cannot trust
to faith
to miracles
or to the muse
in the depths
of my own soul
I want to
I want to...
but there it is

Without Internet

{Post: 269/365}
I hate
being without
my internet
for days
and days
on end
because
I lose
connection
to the threads
and pathways
of my creative
spark
of my inspirations
and ideas
I feel
disconnected 
and lost
in deep places
inside my soul