Christmas Eve

{Post: 359/365}

joy and

contentment

fills my heart

all my children are home

for Christmas

plus one

there is laughter

and music

there is

hope

there is spirit

and joy

and more

there is comfort

and fun

and I am

grateful

to be sharing it

with them

Joy

{Post: 357/365}

intense

ecstatic

and exultant

happiness

the pleasure

of watching

 children

enjoy each other

playing Guitar Hero

the feeling I got

when given my name

Mojirayo

meaning:

"I awoke to see joy"

I am joyful

and content

Tree Lights

{Post: 332/365}

how to express

the feeling

the joy

of tree lights

twinkling

red

blue

yellow

green

orange

shine

reflecting

in the glass

baubles

and ornaments

hanging

from the branches

beautiful angel

lit up inside

topping the tree

handmade love

and gifts

included

it brings me joy

and peace

and the willingness

to work harder

be more tired

and give more

LOVE

I Want

{Post: 252/365}

I want to live

a life of

integrity

and honour

I want to stand behind

the things I believe

I want to dream

and have the strength

and courage

to follow them through

I want to

live

eat

breathe

and

dance

with joy

and passion

I want to shine

with my own light

the light

of spirit and passion

the light

of love

deep inside me

What Do I Want?

{Post: 251/365}

I want

a life full 

of friendship

a heart full 

of love

a soul deep 

with joy

a body vibrant 

with health

a mind strong

with intelligence

a spirit soaring

with passion and fire

I  want

a life full

of meaning

Why Must YOU

{Post: 248/365}

why must you

always

say out loud

the things I know

the words that are already in my heart

why must you

always

say out loud

the whispers in my soul

the nudges and reminders I need

why must you

always

say out loud

the things you say to spark me

and push me one step further

why must you

always

say out loud

the lessons I KNOW

the ones I am afraid of

I KNOW why you must

always

say out loud

the words you say

the words that engage me

I KNOW I must

always

answer the call

 dreaming in the flame

my power and passion renewed

I KNOW I must

always

answer the call

burning myself down to the ashes

and rising anew a phoenix

I KNOW I must

always

answer the call

and be inspired to embrace 

the light, the joy and the magic within me

Sparkle and Shine

{Post: 172/365}

sparkle and shine

like the diamond you are

dance in the sunshine

dance in the rain

raise your arms

raise your eyes

raise your voice

open your heart

fill your soul

with joy

with bliss

with peace

sing in the shower

sing on the street

smile at everyone

don't be afraid

to GIVE

everything you are

inside yourself

you will always find

MORE

be yourself

and 

sparkle and shine

like the diamond you are

What Is Joy?

{Post: 150/365}

the expression

of a deep emotion

full of

pleasure

and exultant

happiness

with

SOMETHING

for me it was:

the moment I held my children

for the first time

and the moments

of all their firsts

words, smiles, steps, giggles

and the first time

I managed to handle

both feet and both hands

involved in the rhythm

of drumming!

and the moment 

I met my husband

and KNEW

that he was MINE

always, for the long haul

and always

when I find

a rhythm and a flow

with words

in poetry

or another writing

and FEEL its goodness

and EVERY time

I look at my FIRST tattoo

but ALL of them too

and I KNOW

that the expression

of MYSELF

IS

JOY!!!

Finding My Joy

{Post: 145/365}

how do I find

the smile inside of me

the one that

grows

no matter

what life throws

the one that knows

exactly why

and how 

my soul flows

how deep 

inside myself

must I be

to understand

all that I need

to see

about

the joy and contentment

i bring to ME

by searching

experience

and choosing

to live

for everything

I am willing

to give

and all of the things

keeping my heart

active

I find

the smile

inside of me

I know 

how deep

 I have to be

and I 

that i AM

all and everything I need

inside of ME

Inspiration

{Post: 127/365}
Inspired by this painting:
Healing With Art


my heart
creates roots
deep in the fibre of me
like the root system
of a tree
and as I grow
stronger
older
wiser
my heart opens
wider
and I am willing
to reach towards
the sky
or new people
with ever more
buds and blooms
of heart flowers and
connections
and joy

SHE (eleventh in a series)

{Post: 112/365}

SHE...
recognizes
the abilities, talents and gifts
inside her
breathes life into them
lifts her heart and soul
to creation
of love, of healing, of joy
for her loved ones
and herself
she is...
POWERFUL

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

{Post: 95/365}

warm smell of cinnamon

and brown sugar

hint of vanilla

enticing aroma

delicious sweet crunch

mmmmmm

good

oatmeal raisin cookies

Bliss

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a constant state

of

JOY

contentment

satisfaction

and happiness

undeterred

by the ebbs and flows

of life

by hardships

by sorrows

bliss

is knowing

you are safe

secure

loved

beautiful 

in and of yourself

and all sorrows

will pass away

and all joys

are well deserved

and both will come and go

but you will

always

know

BLISS

Sunshine After the Rain

{Post: 56/365}

there is always

sunshine

after the rain

there is always

hope 

after the pain

there is always

a story

behind someone's eyes

there is always

a reason

for wanting to cry

there is always

a choice

between sorrow and joy

there is always

a voice

that can touch deep inside

there is always

another 

step you can take

there is always 

another

choice you can make

there is always

a light

at the end of the tunnel

there is always

hope

for a brighter tomorrow

there is always

a reason

to keep keeping on

there is always

faith

to keep our hearts strong

there is always

sunshine 

after the rain

there is always 

love

to ease the pain

open your eyes 

Mojirayo

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what is a name

but a reflection

and part of who we are

a name means something

to the namer

and to the named

I am touched 

every time

you say Mojirayo

because 

it feels like

you see me

and understand

who I am

sometimes 

even more 

than I do myself

"I awoke to see joy"

is an acknowledgement

of my heart

and soul

mind

and 

purpose

for 

hoping

living

loving

shining

and even when

I feel sad

the name you have given me

reminds me

to lift myself up 

and FIND joy

to wake myself up

and SEE joy

EVERY DAY

to live my life

and BE joy

ALWAYS

thank you

Christmastime Can Be Sad

{Post: 353/365}
For those of us who have lost loved ones or those of us who are alone and lonely it can be very sad.
This year I have been thinking a lot about Christmas past with some of the people who are no longer with me.
I miss them very much. I was lucky to have them all for a long time but many are not so lucky.
My dad, my aunt, all my grandparents, my son (whom I never even got to HAVE and died just before Christmas)
I DO miss them but I carry on living because life goes ON and they would ALL want me to as well!
My dad, near the end wuld always tell me, Don't worry, be happy!
I know he was trying to share something that I never truly understood until just lately. Life is short and time is precious...don't waste it. It hurts and that is sad but, we CAN choose to rise above it! We can choose NOT to wallow in the sorrow but to step outside of it and cherish the moments that make life a LIFE!
This is the thing that I see since thinking about them so much lately.
They are gone but they are and always will be part of ME and my life in my memories and traditions and all the beautiful things I carry on that I have because they WERE a part of it for so long.
So here is my suggestion for the loneliness and sorrows when missing someone during this season of LOVE.
REMEMBER the good. REMEMBER the joy. REMEMBER the words of love and wisdom they shared with you.
REMEMBER your fave holidays together. REMEMBER the laughter. REMEMBER the hugs.
REMEMBER it all and KNOW that every single moment was a gift and a treasure!
When you feel so SAD and think that you cannot take another step forward or make another MEMORY it is TIME, long overdue time to open your own heart to something *NEW*.
If you can't find any of the joy inside yourself just think hard about something that you could do to give joy to someone else. CHOOSE someone and do something kind for them. Be a SECRET SANTA to them and leave them a little gift, or buy them a cup of coffee or ANYTHING, any little kindness that will shine a light into THEIR sadness. 
You will give them a small gift of joy that will ripple back to you and lift your spirits also.
THIS is the true meaning of CHRISTMAS. GIVING joy and love of yourself to OTHERS.
We often forget this, especially when we DO have a huge circle of family and friends of our own to amuse us and distract us and cherish us too. We keep our love tied up with all of them in a neat little package that outsiders are not allowed to enter or welcomed into.
OPEN your circle, widen your net, open your arms to just ONE other person who might be lonely or sad and GIVE them the gift of your love for one day. You could change a life! You could warm, melt and open a bitter heart and the ripples could change someone's whole WORLD. TRY!

Family Holidays

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I asked my friend for a topic suggestion and he asked what the meaning and importance of a family holiday is.
Now, I am thinking about all the occasions over the years that I have shared with my family from childhood forward into my own children. 
Why do we create holidays that we want most to share with our families and close friends?
Putting all religious aspects or origins of each holiday that we do celebrate aside what IS it that keeps us trying year after year (even though many of us have dysfunctional, damaged and fractured families that just don't get along ) to have a family get together, party, celebration or dinner where we all share food, music, gifts and good company.
I can only suggest that we all want the same things in life...
A place to belong.
A family to belong to.
Unconditional love.
Laughter.
Joy.
Companionship.
Fellowship.
HOME.
I think as we get older sometimes some of these things get lost in the shuffle of life.
When I was a child I remember either/or both Thanksgiving and Christmas at my grandmother's house. Sometimes this would include the whole family of six siblings and each of their spouses and children (uncles, aunts and cousins) ALL either sitting down to dinner or just having a buffet meal together. Sometimes we would also have Easter dinner together. Usually the aunts, my mom and nanny had control of the kitchen and the men in the house would visit in the living room, sometimes playing music, kids running around the house like the chaotic whirlwinds they are! ;) I LOVED the time when they played music and I miss that because it's something that was gone for years even before nanny and grandpa left us. :( But, the years when grandpa played his banjo or the fiddle were the BEST! The aunts and my mom would play guitars too and sing. It is sad when these beautiful aspects of life with a large family get lost because life moves on and it is not always easy to get everyone to the same place at the same time anymore. I think that we strive to have happy holiday moments to CONTINUE as best we can these beautiful, deep, rich, FULL moments of our childhoods and BUILD them anew into our own families.
It is why we create traditions and try to continue them on through the years. Maybe so much of life changes that keeping one or two CONSTANT traditions give us the CONTINUITY we need.
For ME...FOOD is a big part of the celebration and joy of family.
My nanny was a nurturer. Always feeding us. Always baking. Always goodies, home made bread, tea and snacks and good dinners. I think we were spoiled because she was a baker. (I grew up to work in a bakery-it makes me smile inside because I never imagined I would be happy in that kind of job but the truth is it was the BEST one I ever had and I think much if it has to do with it making me feel more connected to her and understanding her better.) She was the sweetest lady I ever knew and I miss her. My mom continues a family tradition of good food, good company and good times on holidays every year even though sometimes it is hard for her and she gets tired of the work. So we have sit down dinners less often now and buffet meals more often but still we can enjoy a few hours of laughter and companionship with each other. I know that when and if the time comes I will need to step up and be the one who continues family holidays if only to give us all a CONSTANT meeting place of home and a space to recharge for life. (Sometimes I do this already when she needs a break lol)
I have been making my own Christmas dinner for my friends and family every year since the first one I was out on my own. It is IMPORTANT to me to feed them and spoil them and share a lovely evening together with them because THIS is my way to give them MY home. My way to let them know that they ARE my home. They are everything that IS good and beautiful in it so why would it NOT be important to me to give them all the things that make me ME? I don't need special holidays to do this. None of us really do. EVERY DAY is a good day to appreciate, share, GIVE, LOVE and BE with your loved ones but most of us like holidays because they give us a REASON to set life aside for a little while and MAKE the really important things matter the most! It's the way it always should be but we get lost in the shuffle and busy and speed of our lives and work and lack of real time so a holiday is a good time to TAKE or MAKE the time for each other.
So many things get lost over time that I believe it IS very important to do our best to KEEP family holidays and get togethers as a means to CONTINUE lessons and traditions on to our children and their children and so on.
I think I'm feeling especially sad this holiday because I miss my daughter who lives on the east coast of Canada now and is VERY far away and my oldest son is also out on his own and doing his own thing. I only have the baby at home with me now and he is getting older so holidays are changing for us again and I want to hold onto the old traditions! I guess it is time to create some NEW ones!
Family and holidays mean a LOT to me and I am sad every time something gets lost in the transitions of life but I can keep all the beautiful memories and there will always be NEW ones to create!
Here is to you and yours from me and mine. Cherish the moments!

August 31, 1970

{Post 243/365}
My birthday! I have hit my 41st and I'm feelin great about it!
Had a great afternoon going out for lunch with my mom, going out for dinner tomorrow night with hubby's mom & dad and going to ENJOY!!
Took a pic of my baby sitting in the BIG chair:

Got lots and lots of love on my FB wall and couldn't be more content with my 41st year of life!

Even tho there are bad parts and sorrows I am feeling happier than I have in a long long time!

Thank you ALL for all the LOVE!! xoxoxoxo

Happy Father's Day

{Post 170/365}
I wrote this poem for my friend, my muse who has a harder time than most father's and I wanted him to know that SOMEONE knows and appreciates his struggles.

A Father's LOVE

He is missing

All the things

We take for granted

Every day.

Kisses on the cheek

A small hand placed in his

I love you daddy!

Snuggles in the bed in early morning.

All the hugs and cuddles

That make life with children

A life of JOY

He is far away from them

Enduring heartache

Every day

While he tries to make a living

Tries to make their lives better

Their future brighter

His choice is one

Of deep love and commitment

He has unbelievable faith

That such separation will be worth it

In the end

He hopes his children

Will one day

Truly understand

The sacrifice he has made

The love he has for them

That leaving them behind

For any length of time

Is not his first choice

Nor really any choice at all

But something he must do

To provide a better life for them

I applaud his strength

To make the only choice he can

To endure the ache

To work as hard as he can

To hope for some miracle

To have faith in himself

To know that someday

Everything he is doing

For his children, for his family

Will be understood and appreciated.

For those of you who have your father with you, remember once in awhile to show him appreciation for who he is and what he does with you and for you because some children have to endure long separations from theirs and it's not easy to miss your dad when he's gone.

30 Day Facebook Challenge-Post #8

{Post 142/365: Original Post: (8/30) FatCatMomma}

A Pic That Makes Me Laugh

This pic of WIP(Shawn) & Maribelle(Mary) bangin heads 

at our Halloween party one year always makes me laugh!
You guys BOTH ROCK!!!!! :D