Today I am grateful for:
babies
and a chance for a wee cuddle ;)
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Monday, February 13, 2012
Angel Baby
{Post:44/365}
after 9 months of fear and torture
from health issues
a beautiful reward...
my angel baby
so cheerful and bright
a light in my life
a mixed combination of
Abba & Sissy and Mommy and Daddy
but mostly
a unique and wonderful
YOU
helpful, cuddly and sweet
gentle spirit and giant heart
beautiful smile and loving soul
we're proud of you and love you VERY much!
Monday, June 13, 2011
30 Day Facebook Challenge-Post #29
{Post 163/365: Original Post: (29/30) FatCatMomma}
A pic that ALWAYS makes me smile: marzipan babies...
real babies also make me smile!! :D
check out more of the candy babies: http://www.camilleallen.co
real babies also make me smile!! :D
check out more of the candy babies: http://www.camilleallen.co
Friday, April 1, 2011
AJ's Basket
{Post 91/365: Original Post: What I Want MY Children to KNOW}
tiny wicker baby bassinet
inner lining sewn with love
sweater outfit placed tenderly
bonnet and booties
never to be worn
tiny baby boy bathing suit
and rubber duckies
from big brother
ceramic teddy bear
and teddy bear candle
from sissy
an easter egg
a Christmas stocking
a birthday bear
month of December
and cookie monster baby toys
with love from mommy and daddy
and your baby book
folded up in a baby blanket
and cover crocheted by momma
the book holds
our sleeping dream
in the pockets
pictures
a crocheted flower
a lost baby pocket
seashells for peace
a tiny crocheted baby blanket
a baby brush
momma's home test -positive
sympathy cards
your baby calendar
filled in, until...
a book for mommy's thoughts
of sorrow, of anguish
as she and daddy grieved your loss
once I lit a candle for you
but I need to no longer
I carry you with me always
and even more
when I look at the tattoo
over my heart
angel baby
I wish you could have stayed with me
but I love you no less
because you could not
your basket of things
sets my heart at ease
*love you forever*
mommy xo
Thursday, March 31, 2011
The SADDEST moment of my life.
{Post 90/365: Original Post: Verisimilitude}
The story of my deepest sorrow begins with me being 4 1/2 months pregnant and going to the hospital to have my first ultrasound. The technician kept sighing.
Then, when he asked if there had been any cramping or spotting I KNEW something was wrong. He couldn't tell me anything. He told me we could wait in the waiting room for the doctor on call to talk to us or go home and call our family doctor for the results.
We waited.
For FOUR (4) HOURS!!
Then, because something had happened to make the baby stop growing, and he LOOKED like he was only 12 week size this particular doctor told me to go home and wait for the baby to spontaneously abort. IDIOT!
I AM almost 5 months pregnant!! I am about a WEEK away from feeing the baby beginning to kick and move! I HAVE already heard his heartbeat and he sounded wonderful!! So I went home and called MY doctor. He said, "Why would he tell you that? You can't wait!"
"No duh I can't wait around with a dead baby inside me!!"
Soooo...my doctor prescribed a medication to induce labour and it worked and then hubby and I waited for it to start because he said it could take from anywhere between 2hrs and 8 or so. But, it started right away and hubby and I drove to Orillia to share the most sorrow we have ever shared in our lives together.
There are parts of this story I will never tell. I will carry them with me all the days of my life but, I won't share because they are my pains to keep-to myself.
Orillia has a beautiful program for parents who lose their babies and they have beautiful, compassionate nurses who make the whole ordeal easier to handle.
When my contractions started in earnest I was sitting in a chair enduring them and then I realized...drugs were not going to hurt anyone because I was not going to have a living baby to hold at the end of this. So I called the nurse and asked for drugs. Then I climbed into the bed and fell asleep.
In the morning I woke up and went to the bathroom to pee and gave birth to my son, Andrew Jordan Bissonette.
I called the nurse again and she took him and said she would clean him and bring him back so we could look at him again. I am calm as I tell you this but, I assure you I was NOT calm at the time. In fact, I was almost hysterical. I made hubby climb into the bed with me and hold me while we waited for them to bring him back.
At the time we didn't know whether he was a boy or a girl so the nurse had suggested we choose a name that could be for either. Hubby suggested Jordan and I liked it so that was it. That part was easy really.
When the nurse returned with AJ he was laid in a little pocket almost the size of a mini tissue holder that some grandma lady had made for these special babes.
He had:
2 arms
2 legs
10 fingers
10 toes
2 ears
2 eyes
a nose
and a smile his momma would have loved (I KNOW this)
and YES he had "the equipment"
This is the part that hurts because I love him just as much as the other three even though I did not get to keep him, smell him, clothe him, kiss him, smell him, sing to him, teach him, bathe him, listen to him coo and giggle and eventually begin to talk, watch him crawl and move and eventually walk....
At some point the nurse brought a beautiful memory book that I could write in which included pics of the baby that we could look at later as we needed to or show our family if they needed to see him. The book came with an outfit that I thought was very beautiful but, because our baby was so tiny I asked the nurse to take back and give to another family who may actually be able to use it for their baby. But, the gesture was not lost on me. It was very sweet.
A year after, on the anniversary of AJ's death we received a card from the nurses in this unit and I have always been touched deeply by the work that they are doing for and during the grieving process of all those parents who have lost their babies too.
Thank you.
This is NOT my whole story but it is enough for you to know and share my sorrow.
AND enough for all the other mother's who have felt the same to know, I KNOW and I UNDERSTAND.
I have since had a beautiful, healthy, joyful, angel baby and have moved on from this sorrow but, I carry AJ with me always and I will never forget him.
The story of my deepest sorrow begins with me being 4 1/2 months pregnant and going to the hospital to have my first ultrasound. The technician kept sighing.
Then, when he asked if there had been any cramping or spotting I KNEW something was wrong. He couldn't tell me anything. He told me we could wait in the waiting room for the doctor on call to talk to us or go home and call our family doctor for the results.
We waited.
For FOUR (4) HOURS!!
Then, because something had happened to make the baby stop growing, and he LOOKED like he was only 12 week size this particular doctor told me to go home and wait for the baby to spontaneously abort. IDIOT!
I AM almost 5 months pregnant!! I am about a WEEK away from feeing the baby beginning to kick and move! I HAVE already heard his heartbeat and he sounded wonderful!! So I went home and called MY doctor. He said, "Why would he tell you that? You can't wait!"
"No duh I can't wait around with a dead baby inside me!!"
Soooo...my doctor prescribed a medication to induce labour and it worked and then hubby and I waited for it to start because he said it could take from anywhere between 2hrs and 8 or so. But, it started right away and hubby and I drove to Orillia to share the most sorrow we have ever shared in our lives together.
There are parts of this story I will never tell. I will carry them with me all the days of my life but, I won't share because they are my pains to keep-to myself.
Orillia has a beautiful program for parents who lose their babies and they have beautiful, compassionate nurses who make the whole ordeal easier to handle.
When my contractions started in earnest I was sitting in a chair enduring them and then I realized...drugs were not going to hurt anyone because I was not going to have a living baby to hold at the end of this. So I called the nurse and asked for drugs. Then I climbed into the bed and fell asleep.
In the morning I woke up and went to the bathroom to pee and gave birth to my son, Andrew Jordan Bissonette.
I called the nurse again and she took him and said she would clean him and bring him back so we could look at him again. I am calm as I tell you this but, I assure you I was NOT calm at the time. In fact, I was almost hysterical. I made hubby climb into the bed with me and hold me while we waited for them to bring him back.
At the time we didn't know whether he was a boy or a girl so the nurse had suggested we choose a name that could be for either. Hubby suggested Jordan and I liked it so that was it. That part was easy really.
When the nurse returned with AJ he was laid in a little pocket almost the size of a mini tissue holder that some grandma lady had made for these special babes.
He had:
This is the part that hurts because I love him just as much as the other three even though I did not get to keep him, smell him, clothe him, kiss him, smell him, sing to him, teach him, bathe him, listen to him coo and giggle and eventually begin to talk, watch him crawl and move and eventually walk....
At some point the nurse brought a beautiful memory book that I could write in which included pics of the baby that we could look at later as we needed to or show our family if they needed to see him. The book came with an outfit that I thought was very beautiful but, because our baby was so tiny I asked the nurse to take back and give to another family who may actually be able to use it for their baby. But, the gesture was not lost on me. It was very sweet.
A year after, on the anniversary of AJ's death we received a card from the nurses in this unit and I have always been touched deeply by the work that they are doing for and during the grieving process of all those parents who have lost their babies too.
Thank you.
This is NOT my whole story but it is enough for you to know and share my sorrow.
AND enough for all the other mother's who have felt the same to know, I KNOW and I UNDERSTAND.
I have since had a beautiful, healthy, joyful, angel baby and have moved on from this sorrow but, I carry AJ with me always and I will never forget him.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
10 Unforgettable Moments in MY Life
{Post 33/365: Original Post:Feel ME}
1. Once upon a memorable moment...when I was 18 I had my first baby. It was both wonderful and terrifying and I will never forget the process.
2.Then again when I was 19 I had another memorable moment. Baby #2. The first had been a boy and the second was a girl. They were like night and day. There were some negative things happening in my life at the time but, baby girl was a bright, joyful addition to it.
3.The year I turned 23 I lost my father. It is unforgettable. I'm 40 and there are still days when I miss him very much. Nobody else in the world really understands my insanity as much as he seemed to. Mom always calls me my father's daughter after all.
4.The year I turned 26 I met my husband. I knew right away that he was the one for me. he did not. He had to think about it more. Who could blame him really? I was a package deal with two babies! But...he CHOSE me! The rest is history. ;)
5.Hmmm...in 1998 hubby and I got married. I didn't have my best girlfriend stand up for me because we weren't talking at the time I planned the wedding (tho she did come to the wedding because we'd made up by then). I had a MAN of Honour. He not only stood up for me but, he saved my life that day! I FORGOT my dress. I know, I know...how can a woman forget her wedding dress? THE most important part!! Well, I made it myself and it had to hang on the back of door so it wouldn't get messed up. I stood in the bedroom looking all around to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything but the door was open so I didn't even think about the dress hanging on back of it. So we drove all the way to Minett where we got married which was about 40 minutes from our house and I realized I had forgotten the dress. :( OMG...you have no idea how freaked out I was!! Then Don, my Man of Honour said don't worry I'm going to get it for you. He drove all the way there and back and retrieved the dress. I was only half an hour or so late for my own wedding! Poor Peter...thought I'd bailed on him! lol (not really but was wondering what crazy thing I had done to be so late!)
6.The day I lost my third baby was unforgettable.
It was a horrible experience so I'm not going to elaborate but, believe me NO parent should ever lose their child and I have deep compassion for those who have.
He would have been a beautiful baby boy and we named him Andrew Jordan(AJ).
7.And then came Gibson. My joyful, beautiful, sweet, angel baby.
The whole pregnancy was scary, I was high risk, I had gestational diabetes, I worried because of losing AJ and somehow we managed to get through all of it to hold the sweetest, happiest baby ever!
8.A beautiful series of moments came into my life in the shape of hubby's friend Shawn. He's like a brother to me and I couldn't be happier to have found and created the bond that we have with him. Love you WIP, always! xo
9.There has been nothing in my life before or as of yet to equal the emotions and changes in me since meeting my muse.
He was the catalyst for many changes that I am still in the process of making but it was GOOD and I will never regret the lessons he's brought to my life.
10.A wonderful experience came by accident and I will never forget it because it made me momma to the momma. We got a pair of kittens but unlucky one of each and they made babies...2 litters actually and I ended up with 4 cats! The momma was still a baby herself though and she didn't really know what was happening so she came to me to take care of her and I got to be part of the birthing of both litters of her babies AND they stayed in a box beside my bed too so I could keep my eye on them. It was wonderful to have her trust through the whole process so I could see babies from the moment of their birth to the first day they could climb out of the box, to NOW when they are grown and independent cats!
Perhaps for many these are small moments with little meaning but, to me are milestones of my life. The biggest and best moments that have touched and pleased and changed me.
1. Once upon a memorable moment...when I was 18 I had my first baby. It was both wonderful and terrifying and I will never forget the process.
2.Then again when I was 19 I had another memorable moment. Baby #2. The first had been a boy and the second was a girl. They were like night and day. There were some negative things happening in my life at the time but, baby girl was a bright, joyful addition to it.
3.The year I turned 23 I lost my father. It is unforgettable. I'm 40 and there are still days when I miss him very much. Nobody else in the world really understands my insanity as much as he seemed to. Mom always calls me my father's daughter after all.
4.The year I turned 26 I met my husband. I knew right away that he was the one for me. he did not. He had to think about it more. Who could blame him really? I was a package deal with two babies! But...he CHOSE me! The rest is history. ;)
5.Hmmm...in 1998 hubby and I got married. I didn't have my best girlfriend stand up for me because we weren't talking at the time I planned the wedding (tho she did come to the wedding because we'd made up by then). I had a MAN of Honour. He not only stood up for me but, he saved my life that day! I FORGOT my dress. I know, I know...how can a woman forget her wedding dress? THE most important part!! Well, I made it myself and it had to hang on the back of door so it wouldn't get messed up. I stood in the bedroom looking all around to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything but the door was open so I didn't even think about the dress hanging on back of it. So we drove all the way to Minett where we got married which was about 40 minutes from our house and I realized I had forgotten the dress. :( OMG...you have no idea how freaked out I was!! Then Don, my Man of Honour said don't worry I'm going to get it for you. He drove all the way there and back and retrieved the dress. I was only half an hour or so late for my own wedding! Poor Peter...thought I'd bailed on him! lol (not really but was wondering what crazy thing I had done to be so late!)
6.The day I lost my third baby was unforgettable.
It was a horrible experience so I'm not going to elaborate but, believe me NO parent should ever lose their child and I have deep compassion for those who have.
He would have been a beautiful baby boy and we named him Andrew Jordan(AJ).
7.And then came Gibson. My joyful, beautiful, sweet, angel baby.
The whole pregnancy was scary, I was high risk, I had gestational diabetes, I worried because of losing AJ and somehow we managed to get through all of it to hold the sweetest, happiest baby ever!
8.A beautiful series of moments came into my life in the shape of hubby's friend Shawn. He's like a brother to me and I couldn't be happier to have found and created the bond that we have with him. Love you WIP, always! xo
9.There has been nothing in my life before or as of yet to equal the emotions and changes in me since meeting my muse.
He was the catalyst for many changes that I am still in the process of making but it was GOOD and I will never regret the lessons he's brought to my life.
10.A wonderful experience came by accident and I will never forget it because it made me momma to the momma. We got a pair of kittens but unlucky one of each and they made babies...2 litters actually and I ended up with 4 cats! The momma was still a baby herself though and she didn't really know what was happening so she came to me to take care of her and I got to be part of the birthing of both litters of her babies AND they stayed in a box beside my bed too so I could keep my eye on them. It was wonderful to have her trust through the whole process so I could see babies from the moment of their birth to the first day they could climb out of the box, to NOW when they are grown and independent cats!
Perhaps for many these are small moments with little meaning but, to me are milestones of my life. The biggest and best moments that have touched and pleased and changed me.
Monday, January 31, 2011
It IS Miraculous...
{Post 31/365: original Post: What I Want MY Children to KNOW}
It is miraculous.
One day you have a baby with chubby cheeks, big eyes, an innocent heart and many questions about life and the world.
Then overnight it seems you look at an intelligent, capable, funny young PERSON with ideas and wit and charm and the ability to reason for themselves why the world works as it does.
Their ideas may NOT be the same as yours.
Sometimes if you can suspend your own ego long enough to accept it, their ideas are BETTER.
Sometimes they can leave you totally in awe of how smart they are and how in tune to the ebbs and flows and under-currents of everything in life.
Then sometimes...again, they will show you the innocent child. They won't really, truly understand anything at all yet and you realize, for but a moment you understood their vast potential to be everything they could be and MORE.
That is why YOU are their guiding hand. That is why YOU teach them all that you know to be good and right and true, and HOW to work out for themselves with their own mind, ideas, perceptions...whatever other problems they encounter in life.
That is why you do the best you can to encourage and support and raise independent, capable, free thinking individuals with the strength and resolve to follow their own beliefs and convictions and hearts.
And that is why, when it is TIME...you LET GO.
You let them drop from the nest...and you watch them FLY!
It is miraculous.
One day you have a baby with chubby cheeks, big eyes, an innocent heart and many questions about life and the world.
Then overnight it seems you look at an intelligent, capable, funny young PERSON with ideas and wit and charm and the ability to reason for themselves why the world works as it does.
Their ideas may NOT be the same as yours.
Sometimes if you can suspend your own ego long enough to accept it, their ideas are BETTER.
Sometimes they can leave you totally in awe of how smart they are and how in tune to the ebbs and flows and under-currents of everything in life.
Then sometimes...again, they will show you the innocent child. They won't really, truly understand anything at all yet and you realize, for but a moment you understood their vast potential to be everything they could be and MORE.
That is why YOU are their guiding hand. That is why YOU teach them all that you know to be good and right and true, and HOW to work out for themselves with their own mind, ideas, perceptions...whatever other problems they encounter in life.
That is why you do the best you can to encourage and support and raise independent, capable, free thinking individuals with the strength and resolve to follow their own beliefs and convictions and hearts.
And that is why, when it is TIME...you LET GO.
You let them drop from the nest...and you watch them FLY!
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