Struggling

{Post: 229/365}

struggling

with frustration

and wondering

if anything I am doing

or have done

over the last couple of years

makes any difference 

at all

tired of searching for new ways

to eat all the old things

tired of all the things on the list

I should NEVER

eat again

tired of eating when I'm NOT hungry

except that NOT eating will

bounce my sugars

usually up instead of down

and frustrate me more

or I will begin to feel

queezy and upset tummy

and NOT want to eat because of that!

tired of trying to find the exact right balance

of protein and starch

and vegetables

wishing

that I had been aware

or cared more when I was younger

or changed my bad habits then

but then I think

it would change nothing

because I am ME

and I am the me that I have always been

and always meant to be

so I can only try NOW

to do the things that need to be done

and NOT beat myself up

when I falter along the way

I'm doing the best I can

and THAT is the truth!