Down

{Post: 54/365}

I am unsure

yet again

do I make any dent

in my life?

do I make any difference

at all?

I feel

frustrated

uncertain

stuck

fractured

useless

lost

I am

struggling

uphill

all the way

I am wading

through deep water

up river against the tide

I sink

I sputter

I take two steps forward

and sometimes

many backwards again

sometimes

knocked over backwards so far down river again

I don't even know WHY

but I keep stepping

I keep climbing

trying

wading

swimming

trying to keep my head above water

trying to survive

trying to get somewhere

for long periods of time

I think that I just tread water

I go nowhere

but at least Im still in one place

instead of being pushed down river

by the tide

or rolling all the way back down to the bottom of the hill

I hold my ground

and that is something

I'm really tired

Could you bring me a boat?