Chaos

{Post: 60/365}

spinning

whirling

confusing

so many things

racing

in my mind

distracted

unfocused

chaotic

and yet

passionate

obsessed

committed

coming back

again and again

to the same ideas

the same needs

the same creative juices

sometimes

I long for

structure

and wish

that I could tame

the chaos

but then

I understand

the chaos 

is a part of me

and 

necessary

for creativity

and inspiration

and

I know

structure

bores me to death

so I remain

a queen of chaos

Chocolate Milk

{Post: 59/365}

cold

refreshing

chocolate milk

excellent 

for the hangover

unless of course

the previous night

you were TOO drunk

and wake up

way past 

chocolate milk hangover cure

also

wonderful for 

morning sickness

chocolate milk

settles

upset tummies

quenches thirst

and soothes

a bruised spirit

delicious

cold

and chocolate!

The Voice

{Post: 58/365}

singers

with heart

and soul

and voices

that touch

deeply

and judges

fighting

to coach them

take them

under their wings

and lead them

to stardom

and a future

music

hope

joy

from 

a

beautiful

voice

heart

and

soul

The Mirror That is ME

{Post: 57/365}

I look into your soul

and see

a reflection

of myself

sometimes

the similarities

are difficult

to see

but it is truth

that

I see in you

many parts of myself

and through you

and the experiences

we share

I find myself

more and more

I see

that

YES! like meets like

and we grow

better together

through shared experiences

hopes and dreams

through the mirror

reflecting

you to me and me in you

I find more of myself

and I learn

who I am

who I am not

and who I want to be

thank you for being the light

reflecting myself back to me

and the mirror through which

I SEE myself

thank you for being with me

and being my teacher

my soulmate

my FRIEND

Sunshine After the Rain

{Post: 56/365}

there is always

sunshine

after the rain

there is always

hope 

after the pain

there is always

a story

behind someone's eyes

there is always

a reason

for wanting to cry

there is always

a choice

between sorrow and joy

there is always

a voice

that can touch deep inside

there is always

another 

step you can take

there is always 

another

choice you can make

there is always

a light

at the end of the tunnel

there is always

hope

for a brighter tomorrow

there is always

a reason

to keep keeping on

there is always

faith

to keep our hearts strong

there is always

sunshine 

after the rain

there is always 

love

to ease the pain

open your eyes 

Life Lessons

{Post: 55/365}

I'm learning to believe in myself

And I'm learning to share my opinion

And I'm learning to write what I think

Not hide it, when I blog

And I'm learning not to take life too seriously

And I'm learning not to beat myself up

And I'm learning (though it sometimes really hurts me)

Not to drink alcohol

And I'm learning to be open and unafraid

When I deal with other people

And I'm learning that it's much 

Much easier to be real and true 

Down

{Post: 54/365}

I am unsure

yet again

do I make any dent

in my life?

do I make any difference

at all?

I feel

frustrated

uncertain

stuck

fractured

useless

lost

I am

struggling

uphill

all the way

I am wading

through deep water

up river against the tide

I sink

I sputter

I take two steps forward

and sometimes

many backwards again

sometimes

knocked over backwards so far down river again

I don't even know WHY

but I keep stepping

I keep climbing

trying

wading

swimming

trying to keep my head above water

trying to survive

trying to get somewhere

for long periods of time

I think that I just tread water

I go nowhere

but at least Im still in one place

instead of being pushed down river

by the tide

or rolling all the way back down to the bottom of the hill

I hold my ground

and that is something

I'm really tired

Could you bring me a boat?

Cuddlin

{Post: 53/365}

warm

fluffy

black, orange, white

lovely calico

buddy

lays beside me

in my chair

givin me sweet looks

and soft licks on the hand

purring

contented

cuddlin

in her own special way

my sweet Lady Bug

Lazy

{Post: 52/365}

lazy

or maybe

depressed

or just tired

really unsure

not feeling bad

or sad

or upset in any way

just don't have any energy

to cook or eat 

or create

or read

or write

or even play

just

amusing myself

watching movies

and thinking

about

what kinds of things

I WILL do...

tomorrow

Family Day

{Post: 51/365}

lovely visit

with mom & pop

laughing

chatting

watching a movie

having a few drinks

eating snacks

enjoying a good dinner together

and a cup of tea for me

and good conversation

great way to spend 

family day

we should visit more!

My Father's Hat

{Post: 50/365}

it's just a hat

except it is 

NOT

it hangs on my wall

gathering dust

but every time I look at it

I FEEL my father

I feel his sense of humour

so very like my own

I feel his strength

and I know that 

I am strong too

because of him

I feel his hope

for himself and for me

and I remember him saying

"don't worry, be happy"

and I understand what he meant by that

although some days it is still a challenging sentiment

to follow

I feel his spirit

and I know that he is always with me

in spirit, and deep inside me

even if not

in reality

because I carry his memory

in my heart

and in the HAT

that hangs on the wall

of my bedroom

he made it himself

so it's no wonder I feel him

his blood and sweat and love

are in every seam and stitch

I cherish forever

the HAT

that will always hang

on the wall in my bedroom

and  remind me

of my father's

love, spirit, hope, life and joy

Pizza

{Post: 49/365}

ooey, gooey

bubbling

lightly browned

extra cheese

everywhere

on a thin crust

of dough

covered with

sauce and

bacon, ham and pineapple

or

pepperoni, mushrooms and green pepper

or

various other combinations

depending on our mood

warm, delicious

comfort food

I could never live without

because it is soooooooooo

GOOOD!

Dad

{Post: 48/365}

I'm thinking about you

a lot lately

and wishing

you were here

I'm never very good

at making decisions

and it always helped

to hear your opinion

to listen to your ideas

to hear your voice

and know that

no matter what 

you were there to hear me

and help me

figure out my way

sometimes

from 

arguing against me

but just as often

from

arguing with me and for me

you made me stronger

than I ever would have been 

without your example

and I'm grateful

for the time that we had

miss you

love you always

even though I do

hear your voice in my head

it is not the same

as hearing it for real

wish you were here

and

I know you are

in my heart

in my mind

in spirit

Stress

{Post: 47/365}

tension tightens

in my shoulder and neck

and creates

a headache

I endure

by closing my eyes

and resting

eventually

I give up

and give in

and take something

to ease the pain

but it doesn't last

I can feel myself

clenching my jaw

gritting my teeth tightly

and it does nothing

to ease the pain

or slow the tightening of stress

in my body

I take a deep breath

and try to relax

I try to remember

don't worry, be happy

or 

hakuna matata

(no worries)

but I am a worrier

and I don't handle stress

very well

so

I aim for sleep

blessed sleep

and for awhile

I am released

until my dreams

cause me to wake

and recreate the stress

for new reasons, or dream reasons

but all the same

I worry too much

and it hurts

I think I really do

need to learn

to meditate and breath deeply

without stress!!

Painted Toes

{Post: 46/365}

painted toes

so pretty

 flower stickers too

many colours

 to match your mood

my moods can be

burgundy

or shades of this

dark sparkles

pinks

purples

blues

and greens

painted toes

so sexy

peeking out of

my wedge mules

or summer sandals

I can't wait for summer!

Happy Valentine's Day!

{Post: 45/365}

I love

the way you

lift me up out of my darkness

and shine a light into my life

I love

the way you

make me laugh

even when I want to be mad

I love

how we can

enjoy comfortable silences

and loud crazy  fun equally

I love

knowing

that I can trust you with my heart and life

and that you know the same about me

I love

the time you give me

even when you're busy, too busy

but make time for me anyway

I love 

knowing when you're sad

that I can be the one

who makes you smile

I love

knowing

I can call you anytime

and you will be there for me

I love

each and every one of you

who have brought joy to my life

and made me a better me than yesterday

thank you for being my FRIENDS

Happy Valentine's Day!

Angel Baby

{Post:44/365}

after 9 months of fear and torture

from health issues

 a beautiful reward...

my angel baby

so cheerful and  bright

a light in my life

a mixed combination of

Abba & Sissy and Mommy and Daddy

but mostly

a unique and wonderful

YOU

helpful, cuddly and sweet

gentle spirit and giant heart

beautiful smile and loving soul

we're proud of you and love you VERY much!

Crunchins and Munchins

{Post: 43/365}

how do you

eat veggies and salads

and

meat

the most

when what you crave is all the

naughty

crunchins and munchins

that taste delicious

and 

CRUNCH

and all of the things that are

cheesy and ooey and gooey 

goodness

OR

anything and everything

SALTY

that you can find

my problems aren't even 

sweets and goodies

anymore

those are NOT what I crave

but I do LOVE

a burger and fries

pizza

panzerotti

chicken santa fe strombolis

hot buttery, salty popcorn

cheese, cheese, cheese

and more cheese

french fries

and those nasty potato chips!!

if only I liked salads

better than chips!

time for some more changes

:(

COLD

{Post: 42/365}

warm woolly socks

fuzzy slippers

long pants

a sweatshirt over my tank top

two blankies

sitting in front of a floor heater

the drier blasting hot air as it dries the clothes

watching movies

and playing Facebook games

because I am too COLD

to make jewelry today

it was -19 at one point

usual Canadian winter

temperatures

really it is usually colder

but I prefer my warm woollies

and blankies

to outside

with the shivers

and a mug of hot tea

does the trick

for awhile

but...

I am ready for SPRING

Your Face

{Post: 41/365}

your face

is the first thing I see

every morning

it is familiar

and beautiful

to me

it is the face

of a man who loves to laugh

it is handsome

warm and welcoming

it is full of smiles, laughter and love

for life

for friendship

for our children

for me

it is both naughty and nice

and

the twinkle in your eyes

belong in the face of

a leprechaun

or impish prankster

shown by the giggles

you create in our children

and me

I love your face

touching it softly with my fingertips

sometimes in disbelief

that I am the lucky one

and your face 

is the last thing I see

every night

before I go to sleep

love you xo

Jewelry Making

{Post: 40/365}

bead bins

full of rainbow colours

odds and ends

findings

angel wings

charms

lobster claws

pendants

focal beads

jump rings

connectors

toggles

and beads

all shapes, sizes and colours

creativity hits like a bomb

and I sit

with boxes and bins

and piles of wire and fishing line

to make colourful creations

that make me feel joyful

and tired

and when they are done

maybe I am not alone

and my creations 

will be

appreciated

:)

I Am Sleepy

{Post: 39/365}

eyes drooping

brain slowing down

things not making sense anymore

mind losing focus

images on tv becoming blurry

bones aching

legs becoming twitchy

head weighing heavily on my shoulders

big yawn

cannot wait to lay my head on the pillow 

and snuggle in deep

to warm covers

and surrender to blessed sleep

I am SLEEPY

goodnight

Cookie Monster

{Post: 38/365}

me want cookies

umm ummm ummm

cookie crumbs flying everywhere

can you imagine him eating

celery?

carrots?

cucumbers?

apples?

they just don't have the same

crunch

or make the same

mess

or have the same yummy taste

so they couldn't possibly 

make cookie

as happy as

whenever he is eating COOKIES

he IS

cookie monster

after all!

Buddies in My Living Room

{Post: 37/365}

atop the movie shelf

some of my beanie babies

teddy bears,

a pegasus

unicorns

a yellow duckie

ceramic angel

floppy eared bunny

more bears

and Papa Yeti

atop the extra dvd shelf

a cuddly kitty

polar bear tealight holder

friendship frame with pic

a LOVE penguin statue

baby cookie monster

(he giggles)

on the shelves above my head

red LOVE teddy bear

blue PEACE teddy bear

big and little golden bears

pink 

and

purple

Victoria's Secret bears

sisters of the heart statue

and on the bookshelf beside me

beanie baby dragon

beanie baby cougar

and patched up baby bunny

along with some fave books

I love cuddly buddies everywhere

Cuddles

{Post:36/365}

snuggled up on the couch

in a blankie for two

watching a good movie

and enjoying quiet time

with my cuddles

sometimes

I lay my head on hubby's lap

sometimes

I turn on my side on the couch recliner chair,

fall asleep,

and Momma Bug naps on my side

and Moochie on my feet

sometimes

it's my baby who snuggles up

and keeps his momma warm

and we enjoy the 

snuggle time 

together

cuddles are so good

The Burger

{Post: 35/365}

100% beef patty

slice of cheddar cheese

two slices of dill pickle

or hot and zesty dill pickles instead

sliced tomatoes

lettuce

bit of mustard on the bun

and sometimes

tasty green relish

in the middle of a

big, soft sesame seed bun

hot

juicy

dripping

goodness

the only improvement

is a batch of homemade

french fries

mmmmmmm

Knowing

{Post: 34/365}

Do you know

how many times

you have known something

and forgotten it

until you relearn it

know it

and somehow forget it yet again

only to relearn it again

and repeat the process

over and over again?

Am I the only one this happens to?

I think many times

that I know what I need to know

when I need to know it

but somehow

I also know 

that it must have been something I knew before

or have always known and just forgotten

again

I think this process happens

so often

that what we know becomes

such a deep part of us

as intrinsic as breathing

that we are't aware how much we DO know

until we need to remember it

and then we are able to dredge up memories

and knowledge from our deep places

don't you find this remarkable?

Faith, Hope & Love

{Post: 33/365}

Faith

that everything

happens for a reason

and what is meant to be

will be

Hope

that everything

happens with a purpose

and what doesn't kill us

makes us stronger

Love

that you have

an opportunity

to give all you are

to make life better

Faith

take a leap

and believe

heart, mind,body and soul

that God is LOVE

Hope

dare to dream

and follow

your own heart

into LOVE and life

Love

open your heart

to trust

be vulnerable and real

and GIVE your precious time

Friendship

{Post: 32/365}

isn't it funny

that some friends

are gone away

for a long time

and yet when you

get together again

it is like it was yesterday

isn't it funny

that some friends

are with you daily

or very often

and  when you

get together

it is like you DIDN'T just see them yesterday

isn't it funny

that some friends

are busy

and don't always have time

and yet when you DO

get together again

it is like continuing a conversation after a pause

isn't it funny

that some friends

say that they want to

see you and spend time with you

but when you do 

get together

they seem like they aren't really there with you

isn't it funny

that some friends

come and go

for only a brief moment of time

but every moment

of the time together

is full of joy and vivacious life

isn't it funny

that some friends

stay

from the moment you meet

until the end 

of your time

and fill your life with meaning EVERY day

isn't it funny

that sometimes

your friend becomes

your significant other

and every moment of this relationship

in time

grows richer and deeper than you could have ever imagined

isn't it funny

that some friends

come into your life

and fit comfortably

into your life and space and silences

and just enjoy the time

of BEING with you

isn't it funny

that sometimes a friend

is only a dream of something

you thought was real

and it turns out

it is time to let them go

because it was not...but it still breaks your heart

isn't it funny

that the BEST friend

you will really ever have

is YOURSELF

but it may take a whole

lifetime

for you to understand this and TREAT yourself RIGHT

isn't it funny

how often it is that

we cling to a toxic relationship

because we think we NEED them to love us

when what we really needed

the whole time

was to love ourselves MORE

isn't it funny

that we really do

NEED our friendships

to support us, encourage us, defend us

tell us the truth

about ourselves

and take the time required

to help us build ourselves into a better version of who we are

THANK YOU

to all the friends

in my life

who lift me up, support me, love me

and otherwise help me become 

a better version of myself

the time you give to me

is appreciated and cherished