30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #18

{Post: 272/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}

If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would it be? What would you say to them or ask them?

If I could meet anyone I would meet my son, Andrew Jordan who we lost when I was four and a half months pregnant with him.

I would tell him what I know he already knows.

'Mommy loves you more than you can imagine and is SO sad and sorry that she didn't get to keep you even though it was something she wanted to do more than anything else!'

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #17

{Post: 271/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
What do you want to be when you get older? Why did you choose it?

I have always wanted to be a writer because I LOVE a good story. Really, I love stories of all kinds and I want to be someone who can tell a good one that will make it's readers laugh, cry, understand and be touched deeply.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #16

{Post: 270/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}

If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth?

Write, email, call, get together with as many of my family and friends as I could and make sure they know whatever beautiful and wonderful ways they have enriched and brought joy to my life.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #15

{Post: 269/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}

Who is someone you admire. Why?

I admire my daughter for developing a plan in her life and having the courage to go out into the world and follow it.

I don't always agree with her choices but, I do admire her strength and resolve.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #14

{Post 268/365: Original Post: FEEL Me}


Name things that you do every day.


Take meds.
Drink a coffee or two.
Eat SOMETHING every 2 hours...when I am being good.
Wash dishes.
Feed and water the cats.
Cook dinner for my family.
Watch tv.
Play on computer.
Blog something (tho I am often bad and forget this even tho I am working on a 365 day challenge.)
Take insulin.
HOPE for something better.
Worry.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #13

{Post 267/365: Original Post: FEEL Me}


What can you not live without?

Aside from the family and friends who make life livable, bearable and most times even a JOY to share with them I cannot live without at least ONE cat!

I have always been a cat lover ...while probably not as much as some other people I've found ever since I moved out of my parent's house when I was younger that I do much better in life when I have a little cat to keep me company, love me, pester me and be my buddy. ;) :)

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #12

{Post 266/365: Original Post: FEEL Me}


What item of clothing do you wear the most?


Ummm...hubby says I must tell the truth so I think that would have to be my underpants! LOL
(maybe a close second is my KISS hoodie) ;) 

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #11

{Post 265/365: Original Post: FEEL Me}
What is your favorite quote? How does it relate to your life?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~Marianne Williamson

I BELIEVE this whole-heartedly because I KNOW that I am capable of being much more than I actually show that I am and sometimes it IS because I fear being everything I CAN be. I am LEARNING to OPEN up and SHINE with my OWN light and trying NOT to be afraid of myself or of how other people respond to me.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #10

{Post: 264/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
If you could only live off of one food and one beverage for the rest of your days, what would they be?

I would live off of pizza and iced tea. Pizza because it has all the things I need: starch, protein, dairy,  and veggies ;) lol and iced tea because it's tasty, NOT water and doesn't jack my sugars too much! ;)

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #9

{Post: 263/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
How old do you think you act? Explain.

Hmmm....well when I am low and down I probably act like I'm old and ancient and want to give up the ghost...but, when I'm feeling happy I think I act and feel young at heart which we can all be if we remember to see the beauty and the potential in everything. It also helps to keep young friends who not only remind you not to be too serious all the time but also that life IS a joy and can be a lot of fun!

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #8

{Post: 262/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
If you could live anywhere, where would you live and why?

I haven't really been many places to actually have any idea of where might be better than here so I think that I would live right where I am because I have appreciation for it!

However, I might consider Scotland because my grandpa was born there and I'd love to dig back through family history to find out what's there.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #7

{Post: 261/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
Do you read? If so, what are your three favorite books and why?

1. Terry Brooks~The Elfstones of Shannara: because I love the characters and the story and the sacrifice and LOVE.
2. Stephen King~Insomnia: I love the story and the idea of being able to SEE more than is physically evident.
3. Don Miguel Ruiz~The Four Agreements: I believe there is much in this book that can help people be better and stronger and wiser in their lives and I wish that I could follow the principles fully myself.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #6

{Post: 260/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
Name five things from your wishlist.

• tattoos
• bubble bath stuff
• Home Depot kitchen (cherry wood)
• jewelry parts
• pretty boots/shoes

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #5

{Post: 259/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
At what age were you the happiest?

I think NOW I am the happiest I have ever been.But, life is full of happy moments and there have been many through the years so finding the time when I was the happiest is hard to figure out except to say that I feel healthier and happier inside myself than I ever have been before in my life.

I have grown and come to understand many things that make this so and I AM grateful for every person that touched me along the way and every moment and memory that we have shared.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #4

{Post: 258/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
If you could chose a time period to be born at , which one would it be and why?


I'm thinking I would love the Victorian era with it's finery, crinolines, bustles and corsets even though they would be uncomfortable the fabrics, designs and colours were beautiful. However, I think that the time period I was born into IS the time period I belong in and wishing to be in another is just running away from the life that God has given me and the trick is to find the positives and silver linings and learn from the trials and sorrows to grow better and stronger every day.
Just trying to be better than you were yesterday is embracing and living the life that you are in with dignity and grace!

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #3

{Post: 257/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
What band / musician is most important to you?  Explain why.

Obviously this is KISS.

I have loved KISS for years and was mostly a fan of the Eric Carr era but, also KISS was really the first date hubby and I went on when we began dating each other.

We've seen the reunion tour and the farewell tour and it has always been a good thing that hubby and I can share in our relationship. We have seen other bands and concerts while we've been together but, the KISS concerts will always be my favourite and the best ones that we've shared.

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #2

{Post: 256/365 Original Post: FEEL Me}
What is your stance on religon? 
Would you affiliate yourself with any?


I believe that organized religion is a way to give like-minded believers a place of worship and a home that they can belong to and share their belief and love of God IN.
Having said that I ALSO believe that organized religions use fear and guilt to keep control of their congregations.
I have been involved with many of the Christian religions through the years and I am grateful for ALL I have learned from ALL of them but, I do NOT expect that I will find a path that returns to the confines of a church that will judge me for who I am.
Who I AM is between ME and GOD and NO ONE else!
If you need religion by all means have it. Follow it, cherish it, revel in it. It is your path but, it is NOT mine.
I believe in GOD. I believe in FELLOWSHIP. I do NOT believe I must conform to a set of religious beliefs belonging to this one or that one to do so. Nor do I believe any one of them is MORE right than another. Furthermore, I DO believe that an intelligent individual should be well informed about ALL religions before they can make an appropriate well educated decision about the validity of them. SO...I am trying to LEARN...new things, new ways, new cultures, new religions, new ideas, and along the way I am SURE that I will find TRUTH. From where exactly, I don't know but it has been said that God works in mysterious ways so if I have FAITH that the right things will come to me when I need them...I believe THEY WILL!!

30 Day Personal Challenge-Post #1

{Post: 255/365: Original Post: FEEL Me}
Name two of the most significant people in your life and explain why.

FIRST: My husband, Peter James Bissonette.
I cannot say often enough that he is my best friend, my soul mate, my lover, my rock, my confidant, my anchor and my life. I would be lost in this life without him.
We have been together 15 years and though I have health issues that make life and ever getting OLD a very real challenge I hope that we will have another 15 years together!!

SECOND: the sister of my soul, Nancy Hyslop. My long time friend and yes, sister...the angel that God gave me to help me watch my back. She never judges me, she always loves me and I cherish every moment that we share together in this life!!

I thank God for both of them because without them my life could surely not mean so much.

Dealing...

{Post: 254/365: Original Post: Sucks to Be ME}

...with new meds and the body aches and pains and adjustments that come from it.
I don't really enjoy it and yet I hope that once I've endured it the end result will be improvements. I didn't sleep well last night and I'm tired today as a result of it. I am eating because I have to but it doesn't appeal to me and I'm not sure I will enjoy the lack of appetite while not having a choice if I eat or not...if I don't eat I will PAY for that...so I guess I eat tasteless, blah stuff and know that it will be good for me anyway.
Sometimes I just really HATE this stuff that has been dropped on me and that I have to find a way to get through and find a positive attitude about while I do.
Today is a little better than yesterday but, I still don't feel awesome...but, I will endure...

Life Lessons!

{Post 253/365}

I'm learning to take care of myself
And I'm learning to journal
And I'm learning to like myself better
Not beat myself up, when I make mistakes
And I'm learning not to think negative thoughts
And I'm learning not to worry so much
And I'm learning (though it sometimes really hurts me)
Not to eat junk food to comfort me
And I'm learning to rise above the judgements
When I do things other people don't understand
And I'm learning that it's much 
Much easier to be MYSELF!!

MY First KISS

{Post: 252/365: Original Post: Verisimilitude}

I couldn't decide whether to tell the first kiss EVER or the first kiss that really mattered to me so I will tell both stories.
There are MANY firsts in life and even many first kisses!
My first kiss came from my first best boy friend. He and I did everything together when we were kids because we lived on the same street in the back woods of nowhere so there really wasn't much choice.
He was my first red head and YES he absolutely had the temper!!
I learned a lot of the things I liked in a boy from him and measured many of them against him in the future. He'd tramp all through the swamp just to pick me a flower, he'd give me his sweater if I was cold, he'd hold my hand if I was scared, he'd sit with me for ages with his arm around me and my head leaning on his chest, and we'd ride bikes together, collect eggs from the chickens, climb around the big dirt pit (WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO), explore, tromp around in the bush, play hide and seek and other games with the other kids on the street, and otherwise do all the things that best buds do together! I was 8 years old and he was 10 (if I remember that correctly) and he was ALWAYS trying to kiss me!
We were playing hide and seek with the other kids in the neighbourhood and I ended up hiding with him and our neighbour Ronnie. (I had a crush on him!)
For some reason while we were hiding, sitting under the canoe, Brian decided he would dare Ronnie to kiss me and I'm not sure it was really that hard a sell! LOL
Anyways, BOTH of them kissed me and I can remember I probably blushed ten shades of red and it was a good thing it was dark out by then!
However, I always remember it because I never really minded Brian wanting to kiss me...he WAS my best friend and I did love him you know! But, more importantly somehow I also got a kiss from Ronnie whom I had a BIG crush on and it made me feel really good! (He was my first OLDER man you know! ;) lol) :)

The other kiss was something different.
It was the first time I was kissed by someone I was madly, head over heels in love with. With all my heart.
I was terrified!
He was beautiful. He was the boy ALL the girls looked at and wanted and why not? He was gorgeous. Sometimes, I couldn't even believe that he liked me at all.
The truth is convoluted and confusing and doesn't really matter now but, one night on a weekend he called, I went and by that time I KNEW why. Of course, I went because I was in love with him. That I believed it meant anything to him was probably my age and naivety but, that doesn't matter either.
What does matter is that he KNEW I was terrified. He KNEW it was the first time really  and should never have toyed with me because he'd spent weeks, months even just being my friend and it never occurred to me even ONCE that he would ever WANT to kiss me but, sometimes boys just want to serve their own needs. Apparently so many years after the fact I still carry some hurt for the parts that shouldn't have happened but, he was SWEET and SOFT and gentle and made me feel things I hadn't known I could or would feel. (and NO I did not do anything with him but have a serious kissing fest!) I am NOT sorry for those things. Nor, will I ever be sorry I loved him. I learned things even from him and I'm sure now that they were valid lessons. I am stronger anyway. I survived a broken heart...though it did take a long time to fix myself and NOW I have a memory of a first kiss that actually felt like love to me. Since it wasn't the only time he ever kissed me I'm pretty sure in it's own strange way it was. Though truly, I could still just be deluding myself.
The thing is that I had no idea it could be like that and you can trust me when I say not ALL boys kiss like that either!! It was an experience worth having and left me with a GOOD idea of what I wanted in the man who would ALWAYS be kissing me...lucky me...I have been married 13 years to a man who's always kissed me like he loves me and I hope will continue to a long time yet! ;)

LEARNING to take care of yourself...

{Post: 251/365 Original Post: I AM a QUEEN}
I find learning to care for myself difficult because I've spent the better part of my life taking care of others most specifically my husband and my children but, also being available for friends and family too.
I LOVE to do all of that. I am happy to take care of anyone who needs me to do so.
I am beginning to understand though that I deserve to be taken care of too.
By MYSELF!
Following is a list of some things that I am going to TRY very much to begin to do for myself. Some of them are things that I have done before but, many of them are things that I have never done and learning to do them is somewhat of a challenge for me. I'm not really sure why...
However, it is LONG OVERDUE time that I take better care of myself so that I may continue to take care of my people as well.
I WILL try to:

Wash my hair with my fave shampoos.

Buy special soap once in awhile.

Don't feel guilty for having to pay extra for a bubble bath!

Paint my fingers and toes.

Moisturize arms, legs, hands, feet and body.

Dress up to feel better.

Have a good and positive attitude.

Eat fruits and veggies.

Drink 8 glasses of water a day.

OR take the time to make a cup of tea.

Get enough sleep!

Keep busy with hobbies and exercise my mind!

Walk, ride exercise bike or DRUM for exercise!

Journal for health.

Plan healthy meal plans and stick with them.

Follow any or all of these things yourself if you want and learn to take care of YOU too!

BEAUTY

{Post: 250/365: Original Post: I AM a QUEEN}

Are YOU aware that you are beautiful?
I know that we all measure and weigh ourselves against the world's and society's standards of what beautiful is and many of us are found wanting on that score.
Are you AWARE that is your own perception of yourself?
Based on what? Whether or not you fit into a the world's sub standard view of what beautiful really is? I mean, we all know a beautiful woman when we see one. The kind that even turns other women's heads and causes envy and jealousy and for the rest of us to feel inferior and that we just don't measure up...if only we were thinner or taller or had blonde hair or pouty lips or long luxurious curly hair or WHATEVER it is about those other women that make us doubt ourselves.
STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!
YOU are beautiful just as you are!
You need to see all the wonderful, positive things about you as your OWN distinct beauty and love and accept YOURSELF!
When you do this all the love and acceptance and compassion you hold for yourself will shine through you and other people will see you as you truly are!
We are ALL beautiful in our own way and all we have to do is learn to recognize this self when we look at her in the mirror.
Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder but, it is also deeper inside you than can be seen with only a set of eyes so cherish well the people who see and know the truth of YOUR beauty and remind you of it regularly for they are TREASURES but, more importantly LEARN to see your own beauty well and cherish YOURSELF!

First Day of School

{Post: 249/365}
He's happy to be back in school and I'm happy too! ;)
I had a visit to Dr. today and some more changes to work on...it's always something!
I've almost finished the flowers I've been working on for my girlfriend's wedding on the 17th and she loves them for which I am GLAD!! :)
So here is hoping this school year is full of good and even better things for Gib and also for mom who is working on managing life at home! :)

Book Review

{Post 248/365: Original Post: Reading, Writing & Rocking MY World}
I'm just sharing my book review because I think everyone should read this book. It's a wonderful story and I know you will all appreciate it!

Bad Girl Creek by Jo-Ann Mapson

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Wonderful story about women and friendship and life and love. I LOVED all of the women and appreciated each of their life stories as well. Great read!



View all my reviews

Lazy Day

{Post: 247/365}
We had a lazy day watching movies and Nicky told us they had Seaquest DSV on Netflix so I made the boys watch the first episode with me and then I watched up to episode 6...I so LOVED that show when it was on and STILL do! It is great to be able to watch episodes of tv shows you used to enjoy on Netflix and I also enjoy watching the movies. Sometimes they also have an interesting documentary to show that can be informative as well and even entertaining! ;)

Labour Day Weekend Party

{Post: 246/365}
We had our annual party because hubby said we couldn't NOT do it since we've been doing it every year for how long? Probably almost as long as we've been together! So we had a fun evening with our friends and it was good. :)
I'm almost tired of parties except tht I do NEED and LOVE to spend the time with my friends. I just get so tired and worn out from all the work to get ready and all the energy it takes to visit with everyone. I don't want to give it up really but, I HATE feeling so tired afterwards!

Getting Ready for School

{Post: 245/365}
I don't think we are READY! lol
We have got him a new back pack, lunch bag, pencil case, pencils, coloured pencils, paper, binder and glue and he had shoes bought at the beginning of summer that still fit so he's ready that way but, he's been staying up LATE all summer and has NOT got back into early to bed and early mornings yet so I think his first week of school may be a little bit cranky!
However, I HOPE that having the experience will teach him that mom is NOT a mental case when she says he needs to go to bed early and get a good night's sleep before school!!
I am not looking forward to shopping for lunches again! :( We need a new system for that! lol

Book Club

{Post 244/365}
I am actually enjoying book club and my time with the ladies.
I end up coming home with way more books than I can actually read in a month! This time I have brought home with me:
The Kite Runner~Khaled Hosseini
(since my friend Ademola suggested this one a long ime ago I'm going to read it! )
Last Known Victim~Erica Spindler
Map of Bones~James Rollins
The Last Oracle~James Rollins
Knights of the Black and White~Jack Whyte
61 Hours~Lee Child
The Closers~Michael Connelly
and
Dust to Dust~Tami Hoag

PLUS...I have a stack almost that big in my room already that I have to read!!!
REMINDER: find The Haunted Mesa, The Walking Drum, the king arthur story and some of my SK books to share next book club...and maybe some others on my shelves too!
I DID say I was gonna read more in 2011! LOL

August 31, 1970

{Post 243/365}
My birthday! I have hit my 41st and I'm feelin great about it!
Had a great afternoon going out for lunch with my mom, going out for dinner tomorrow night with hubby's mom & dad and going to ENJOY!!
Took a pic of my baby sitting in the BIG chair:

Got lots and lots of love on my FB wall and couldn't be more content with my 41st year of life!

Even tho there are bad parts and sorrows I am feeling happier than I have in a long long time!

Thank you ALL for all the LOVE!! xoxoxoxo