Question from a friend's group on Facebook:
Someone once said, "men lie because women cannot handle the truth"...BREAKING QUESTION OF THE DAY...Why do men lie and is lt only restricted to men??
(Feel free to join the group HERE if you are interested in discussion.)
I find that I'm writing my answer in a blog post because I think I'm going to have too much to say for a wee little blog comment.
MY answer is that lying is NOT exclusive only to MEN and women could equally say "women lie because men can't handle the truth". I think anyone in a long-term relationship must know there are times when both men and women fear telling the truth and so they lie to stay out of trouble, or to save face, or to save their partners feelings.
However, I'm going to answer from my own life experience why MEN lie because I've learned a few things about this.
#1. MEN will say and do whatever it takes to get what they want (this is usually sex related) and they may actually be sorry later if they hurt you but, in the moment are more concerned with the chase and the hunt. Men ARE great hunters!
#2. MEN will lie to stay out of trouble. Even if it is a silly reason they will rather lie and hope you don't find out (not realizing we will ALWAYS find out) than tell the truth and take what's coming to them. They don't like fighting with you or getting yelled at especially for something they feel they should be allowed to be doing anyway.
#3. MEN will lie to get what they want. If they are the breed of man known as con-man then they are trying to get whatever they are trying to get and it is a GAME. They don't care if they hurt you. In fact, sometimes this breed of man will think it's funny if he can hurt you. It is ALL a game to him. Designed to get him to the great pay off in the end by ANY means necessary.
#4. MEN will lie to cover up the truth because they think the truth will hurt too much. For example...he has fallen in love with someone else but he is a husband and a father and does care about these responsibilities and so he tries to have the best of both world's...the family life with you and the fun times with his girlfriend so that he doesn't hurt you or his children but he still gets to feel loved and needed and wanted. What he doesn't see is that being false to both you and himself hurts everybody in the end and is really selfish and unfair.
#5. MEN will lie because they love you. They will tell you everything is fine and shoulder a heavy load because you've asked them to BE the ROCK and they think it means they have to take care of all the bad stuff by themselves. Sometimes this will be about money trouble, sometimes it will be about work issues which also means money trouble, sometimes this may be about trouble that your children have gotten into and they lie to spare you the pain and stress.
#6. MEN will lie to make themselves look good because they care very much that you appreciate them and inside themselves don't really think they are good enough for you as they are.
#7. MEN will lie to you so they can get out of the house, out of your sight, and into whatever naughty thing they think might be some fun for today but this is usually because they don't know how to tell you that they want a little bit of space without hurting you so it's easier to make up some other reason why they need to go out. It doesn't always mean they want to do BAD things but, rather chill with their friends and do all those insane things "boys" like to do. Deep down even the manliest man is still just a boy in his heart!
#8. MEN will lie just because they don't want you to be right.
It's sort of like the thing about asking for directions. If he thinks you being right makes him look stupid or unreasonable he might lie to keep that from happening.
#9. MEN lie to to keep secrets. Maybe they are not his secrets. Maybe they are his best friends secrets. His loyalty is to his friend in that case and he will lie if he has to in order to keep that secret and loyalty sacred.
#10. MEN lie out of desperation. They don't know what else to do. Sometimes telling the truth is hard. Maybe the hardest thing ever to do. If telling the truth means they will lose something or have to give up then they may lie until they die.
I HATE lies. Aside from the ones like fat men in red suits and yes your hair looks lovely, I don't lie. I can't even try because people can see it all over my face. So aside from these things I understand from having been lied to before, I DON'T understand why anyone first WOULD lie but, second, would continue a lie that so obviously HURTS someone else.
MEN and WOMEN both do that!
It's no wonder we have a hard time trusting each other
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