Happy New Year!

{Post: 365/365}
Last bog post of 2011 365 Days of the Word blog posts.
Happy New Year!
So tomorrow begins a new journey!

Almost Done

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Tomorrow is my last blog post of the 365 days of Creativity I was inspired to try and write.
I didn't stay on track EVERY day of the 365 so I was behind sometimes but I did manage to post 365 posts in total so I am still proud of myself for the effort.
I like the idea so much that I am going to do a 365 Days of the Word AGAIN only this time I will write ONE poem a day. It may be free form, a poetry form, a haiku, a magnetic poetry play, or some other poem form found elsewhere on the web.
I'm hoping to challenge myself and at the end of the year I will create a poetry book out of all 365 poems to be published in Lulu: KD Bissonette with my others.
I like poetry and I think it will be a good challenge of my abilities!!

New Poetry Book Published

{Post: 363/365}
Check out this preview for my new poetry book just published today. :)

Also check out my other poetry books available at Lulu.com:

KD Bissonette

Missed a Visit

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Well my stupid foot spoiled what would have been a lovely visit with hubby's mom & dad, brother and his family and sister. :(  But on a positive note I took the time of peace and quiet to finish writing a book that I have been working on. Woohoo my first draft is COMPLETE!

I will let it sit for a little while now and then when I go back to it with fresh eyes I will know what to correct and what to keep and also find any spelling errors I made.

Really, I am PROUD of myself for finally getting it DONE because I've been working hard on it over a year now.

Hopefully I will not allow myself to let it sit too long before I correct and get it ready for publishing. :) 

YAY me!!

Listing

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Working on my lists and plans for 2012.
I'm writing books and 2012 is MY year. I have DECIDED.
What's coming up in the future for me this year whether I actually get published or not I WILL complete a series of children's books I have been working on for a long, long time.
Also I intend to make 2012 a year of poetry in my 365 Days of the Word blog. ;)
No more random posts or posts from other blogs of mine so if you like any of the others please feel free to follow them and I'll do my best to continue with the content. ;)
Instead I will write ONE poem a day for 365. I HOPE and at the end of the year will turn it into one more  of the poetry books I have for sale in Lulu.com.
My intentions are GOOD but sometimes life and it's stresses slow me down. The point of these exercises is to challenge myself to get BETTER and more consistent and I hope that I am doing that!
If not...at least I am TRYING and I keep TRYING!!!

Boxing Day

{Post: 360/365}
Pain again. :(
I don't know if it is what I ate or being dehydrated or not keeping my foot up enough or just the stress of going and doing when I am already not at my best but I HATE relapses!!
I've been drinking, drinking, drinking and drinking as much water as I can, eating blueberries and polished off my second bottle of cherry juice. Finally, the killing pain is done I think but I'm not 100% healed yet and I have decided I will NOT...Go...or...DO...again until the foot is DONE.
I AM however, GRATEFUL for hubby AND Gibby who are both helping me, getting me things, cooking for me, delivering my meals, drinks and snacks, and otherwise being annoyed and irritated (quite lovingly) as I rest and get better!! Thank you boys! LOVE you both MUCH!! xoxo

Christmas Day

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Christmas Day began early. 6:30am to be exact! After stockings and presents and breakfast I had a nap on the couch till around 11:30am and then got dressed and ready to spend the afternoon at Mom & Pop's and have Christmas Dinner. It was a nice, quiet, relaxing Christmas this year and very enjoyable.
Also we got to spend the afternoon with my oldest son, Marcel and it made me very happy.  The only thing that could have made it better for me was if my daughter had come home from Nova Scotia. Hopefully someday I will share Christmas with her again as well. When they grow up and move out and on into their own lives a lot of things change but I am happy and proud that they ARE living their own lives and doing their own things!
I hope everyone else as much peace and happiness on their Christmas celebrations!

Christmas Eve

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We have had a lovely, relaxing day and evening just watching shows and cooking and eating meals and getting excited for tomorrow morning and how Gib will feel about his "box of clothes" that he hasn't poked, prodded or touched because that's what he truly believes is IN IT. (It is NOT!) lol
We are excited to share our gifts with each other as well and have Christmas breakfast and coffee and then after lunch we'll go to my mom & pop's for the afternoon and a nice dinner.
It's another quiet Christmas this year and is quite enjoyable!! :)

BUG

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Momma Bug got a couple of elastics to play with for Xmas because they are her ABSOLUTE fave toy!

Next time I'll take a video of her and daddy playing with them cause it's just too cute! ;)

Fave Christmas Drink

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I love hot chocolate with a melted candy cane. :) 

You know the little canes that you can buy...minis. They fit perfectly on the side of a mug and melt slowly into the hot chocolate. You can use them to stir it. You can just drop them in and swirl them around till they are fully melted. It is a wonderful part of my Christmas holidays. :)

Brain Dead

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Blockage

Can't think

No focus

No idea

What to write!

Brain

is

DEAD

BRAIN DEAD.

My Fave Christmas Things!

{Post: 354/365}


I LOVE:

Snowmen

and 

Frosty the Snowman ;)

Gingerbread cookies!

Christmas lights...

a Christmas tree!

Reindeer.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Penguins!

and lots more...but most important of all...

Old World Santa Claus ;)

The MOST important part of Christmas for me is ...LOVE.

Christmastime Can Be Sad

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For those of us who have lost loved ones or those of us who are alone and lonely it can be very sad.
This year I have been thinking a lot about Christmas past with some of the people who are no longer with me.
I miss them very much. I was lucky to have them all for a long time but many are not so lucky.
My dad, my aunt, all my grandparents, my son (whom I never even got to HAVE and died just before Christmas)
I DO miss them but I carry on living because life goes ON and they would ALL want me to as well!
My dad, near the end wuld always tell me, Don't worry, be happy!
I know he was trying to share something that I never truly understood until just lately. Life is short and time is precious...don't waste it. It hurts and that is sad but, we CAN choose to rise above it! We can choose NOT to wallow in the sorrow but to step outside of it and cherish the moments that make life a LIFE!
This is the thing that I see since thinking about them so much lately.
They are gone but they are and always will be part of ME and my life in my memories and traditions and all the beautiful things I carry on that I have because they WERE a part of it for so long.
So here is my suggestion for the loneliness and sorrows when missing someone during this season of LOVE.
REMEMBER the good. REMEMBER the joy. REMEMBER the words of love and wisdom they shared with you.
REMEMBER your fave holidays together. REMEMBER the laughter. REMEMBER the hugs.
REMEMBER it all and KNOW that every single moment was a gift and a treasure!
When you feel so SAD and think that you cannot take another step forward or make another MEMORY it is TIME, long overdue time to open your own heart to something *NEW*.
If you can't find any of the joy inside yourself just think hard about something that you could do to give joy to someone else. CHOOSE someone and do something kind for them. Be a SECRET SANTA to them and leave them a little gift, or buy them a cup of coffee or ANYTHING, any little kindness that will shine a light into THEIR sadness. 
You will give them a small gift of joy that will ripple back to you and lift your spirits also.
THIS is the true meaning of CHRISTMAS. GIVING joy and love of yourself to OTHERS.
We often forget this, especially when we DO have a huge circle of family and friends of our own to amuse us and distract us and cherish us too. We keep our love tied up with all of them in a neat little package that outsiders are not allowed to enter or welcomed into.
OPEN your circle, widen your net, open your arms to just ONE other person who might be lonely or sad and GIVE them the gift of your love for one day. You could change a life! You could warm, melt and open a bitter heart and the ripples could change someone's whole WORLD. TRY!

Pain

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Throbbing

Aching

Fire

 My constant companion

Gout foot

Swollen too fat to bend

Standing

Shoots spikes into my leg

Sitting all day

Creates more discomfort

Any touch feeds the flame of fire

Shifting for a time

Still no relief

Shifting again

Jarring pain shoots through my foot

Kitty sits in my lap for a cuddle 

After only a few moments she must be shooed off

Pressure of her weight causes more pain

I keep a three foot bubble of space

Around my foot

Because bumping it 

creates

even MORE

aching

throbbing

FIRE.

please someone

bring me

blessed relief!

It's Good to be QUEEN!

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Gift given to me by my friends Nancy & Bob...AWESOME!

I write a blog called I AM a QUEEN and also have a Facebook fan page titled the same.

All my posts feed into Facebook so she sees I am  Queen everywhere and thought that I'd love the cup...

She was CORRECT! 

I LOVE it!! :D

Christmas Dinner Party

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Every year I have a part for family and friends and make some food, listen to music, exchange gifts and have a great time. This year I made meatballs, sausage/cheese balls, meat and cheese trays, pickles too and mushroom caps (a different recipe that didn't really work as well as previous ones). Everyone seemed to have a good time and so the party was a success! :) Yay!

I Stumble...

{Post: 349/365}
...and I am amazed and awestruck by the BEAUTIFUL pieces of art and photography and bites of food recipes that can be found all over the web. WE are CREATIVE in so many ways!
I applaud the courage shown by all who are putting all their weird and wonderful projects on display for the world to see, admire and be INSPIRED by. WOW!

Check it out yourself:

StumbleUpon

Fave Christmas Carol

{Post: 348/365}
One of my absolute favourite Christmas Carols EVER!

And one of the best versions EVER:

My Favourite Christmas Movies

{Post: 347/365 Original Post: Couch Potato Paradise}

• Babes in Toyland
• Christmas with the Kranks
• Elf
• Home Alone
• How the Grinch Stole Christmas
• Miracle on 34th Street
• The Polar Express
• The Santa Clause
• The Santa Clause 2: The Mrs. Clause
• The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
• Jack Frost
• The Year Without a Santa Claus
• Santa Claus is Coming to Town
• Surviving Christmas
• A Charlie Brown Christmas
• Frosty the Snowman
• How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
• Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July
• Shrek the Halls
• Christmas Comes to Willow Creek

Am I Ready?

{Post: 346/365}
I am NOT.
I have a party to get food ready for on Saturday.
I have a few gifts left to organize and wrap.
I still need to go shopping!
I cannot do anything right now because it is excrutiating torture just to get from the couch to the bathroom!
I am suffering yet another gout attack at CHRISTMAS time! Is this some kind of punishment? I really begin to wonder you know cause it not only annoys my husband but also MYSELF that he has to do everything for me right now. I mean it is really lovely to be cooked for and taken care of but I hate annoying him and I HATE trying to explain to him how I want things done when it would be easier to do it myself if it wasn't so painful! :(
I guess that I will just have to roll with it as usual. It's not that he can't do things perfectly well it's just that I actually WANT to do these things as my gift of love to family and friends. It's all part of it for me. Passing the jobs onto him means I haven't done ANYTHING and makes me feel bad. :(
However, I am doing the best that I CAN do and I just hope everyone will understand yet again that I am not working at 100% at the moment and appreciate my effort. ;)

Last Batch of Ornaments

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My last batch of ornaments made out of a set of mini ornaments 

which I simply made a bead ring around in Christmas colours and attached a big red bow to.

Santas, angels and a reindeer in a sleigh. Too cute! ;)

Wired Ornaments

{Post: 344/365}

Made with glass stones, wire, beads and a big red Christmas bow.

They are kinda cute aren't they?

More Ornaments

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More Ornaments

Made with seed beads, wire, a ceramic heart bead and a big red Christmas ribbon!

Simple, made up but I think they turned out pretty cute! ;)

Snowflake Ornaments

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Beaded Snowflake Ornaments

Made with seed beads, other bigger beads, bugle beads and wire.

I made different colours as well from whatever I had available but my fave ones 

are the reds, greens and golds...very Christmasy! :)

I Remember...

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I remember...

flour sifted through a sifter

and baked into fresh loaves of bread

butter melting on top

to make a crispy crust

and the best baked bread I ever had

I remember...

scrabble tiles on a game board

spelling out good words

and getting close

but never quite winning

against your fine scrabble intellect 

I remember...

bed time snacks

of toast with peanut butter and brown sugar

or cup-of-soup in a mug

spoon taken out of the spoon jar

on the kitchen table

I remember...

sneaking into the garden

to pull out fresh carrots

rinsing the dirt with the garden hose

and munching the biggest and best

from grandpa's garden

I remember...

sharing my first cups of tea

with you and grandpa

his poured into the saucer to cool

and pantry molasses cookies

or other home-baked goodies for a snack

I remember...

running into the kitchen

looking for a spoon

to stir our witches brew or other concoctions

of sawdust, dirt, flowers and water

stirred into your good metal wash tub

I remember...

chasing and collecting frogs galore

into the same metal washtub

from the puddles in the front yard

after a warm summer rain

and frogs were a joy

I remember...

so many beautiful things

and none of them even half as beautiful

as you were to me

the sweetest lady i knew

my grandmother...my NAN (nanny)

Snowflakes

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Did you know...

that a snowflake

is water as snow as a frozen crystal

falling from the sky?

Did you know...

that a snowflake can be 

big and soft,  OR round and hard, hail

almost pelting from the sky?

You must know

that a snowflake

can be a fascinating science experiment

throughout all it's forms

Did you know 

that a snowflake can be

the image of symmetry

and yet never exactly the same?

Did you know

that a snowflake

could statistically be identical to another

but it is more likely to be unique?

Did you know 

that a snowflake

is a wonderful creation of beauty and artistry

in this world?

And finally, did you know

that a snowflake

is a symbol and marker

of fun family times in the winter?

I know

that the first snowflake

of the season

is the beginning of some new winter moments and memories

10 Things I BELIEVE

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10 Things I BELIEVE.

I BELIEVE:

1. ...in life and love...you have to take risks in order to receive rewards
2. ...you cannot flex your wings forever...you MUST fly! (don't sit on the fence)...CHOOSE!
3. ...CHANGE is a necessary part of life...even though much of the time I HATE it
4. ...sex is a valid and important part of a relationship but if it is ALL you have in common the passion will fade and then what have you got?
5. ...each of us is RESPONSIBLE for ourselves, our happiness, our faults and failings and our OWN choices in life
6. that we are each stronger than we can even imagine we are and won't know it unless faced with a challenge where we have to be STRONG
7. I BELIEVE there is always sunshine after the rain...sometimes it is hard to keep walking forward into it...but there IS always sunshine after the rain!
8. ...in God
9. ...LOVE
10. ...MYSELF

My Fave Cereal!

{Post: 338/365}


Ok. I know everyone expects me to say one of the exciting sugar cereals that we all adore like, Sugar Crisps or Captain Crunch or even Honeycomb and while I DO love these cereals occasionally my absolute fave one is Corn Bran. Corn Bran? YES...and here is why:

• my children do NOT like it, therefore on the odd occasion when I decide I DO want a bowl of cereal I am not faced with an EMPTY box!
• It has a little bit of sweetness to it which means sugar doesn't NEED to be added...just a bowl, a spoon and the milk if you please!
• it can be thrown in a baggy and eaten dry as a snack also ( a bit of sweetness, a crunch...GOOD)
• Corn Bran Nutrition

What's not to love about it?

10 Reasons I NEED to Write

{Post: 337/365}
Brainstorm 10 reasons you need to write.

1. I love WORDS.
2. I love the feeling I feel when I have written a poem or a piece and I read it back and KNOW that it is good.
3. I need to VOICE my own voice without fear of judgement or reprisal. My OPINION is equally as valid as anyone else's!
4. I need to SHARE. My pain, my joy, my excitement, my lessons, my heart, my emotion, my knowledge, my understanding. Maybe it will HELP someone else.
5. I am a fountain of emotion and creativity. I need to unleash the floodgates.
6. I need to show my children that no matter how many stumbling blocks you hit or how long it can take that it is NEVER useless or too late to follow a DREAM.
7. I need to show my children that it is POSSIBLE for dreams to come true. Whether they pay off monetarily or not is  irrelevant...people READ what I write, therefore what I write is HELPFUL, USEFUL and GOOD and THAT fills my soul with purpose and JOY.
8. Writing helps me solve my own emotional issues and release them.
9. To IMPROVE.
10. To express words, thoughts, ideas, emotions, reasons, dreams, heart and soul that INSPIRE.

Family Holidays

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I asked my friend for a topic suggestion and he asked what the meaning and importance of a family holiday is.
Now, I am thinking about all the occasions over the years that I have shared with my family from childhood forward into my own children. 
Why do we create holidays that we want most to share with our families and close friends?
Putting all religious aspects or origins of each holiday that we do celebrate aside what IS it that keeps us trying year after year (even though many of us have dysfunctional, damaged and fractured families that just don't get along ) to have a family get together, party, celebration or dinner where we all share food, music, gifts and good company.
I can only suggest that we all want the same things in life...
A place to belong.
A family to belong to.
Unconditional love.
Laughter.
Joy.
Companionship.
Fellowship.
HOME.
I think as we get older sometimes some of these things get lost in the shuffle of life.
When I was a child I remember either/or both Thanksgiving and Christmas at my grandmother's house. Sometimes this would include the whole family of six siblings and each of their spouses and children (uncles, aunts and cousins) ALL either sitting down to dinner or just having a buffet meal together. Sometimes we would also have Easter dinner together. Usually the aunts, my mom and nanny had control of the kitchen and the men in the house would visit in the living room, sometimes playing music, kids running around the house like the chaotic whirlwinds they are! ;) I LOVED the time when they played music and I miss that because it's something that was gone for years even before nanny and grandpa left us. :( But, the years when grandpa played his banjo or the fiddle were the BEST! The aunts and my mom would play guitars too and sing. It is sad when these beautiful aspects of life with a large family get lost because life moves on and it is not always easy to get everyone to the same place at the same time anymore. I think that we strive to have happy holiday moments to CONTINUE as best we can these beautiful, deep, rich, FULL moments of our childhoods and BUILD them anew into our own families.
It is why we create traditions and try to continue them on through the years. Maybe so much of life changes that keeping one or two CONSTANT traditions give us the CONTINUITY we need.
For ME...FOOD is a big part of the celebration and joy of family.
My nanny was a nurturer. Always feeding us. Always baking. Always goodies, home made bread, tea and snacks and good dinners. I think we were spoiled because she was a baker. (I grew up to work in a bakery-it makes me smile inside because I never imagined I would be happy in that kind of job but the truth is it was the BEST one I ever had and I think much if it has to do with it making me feel more connected to her and understanding her better.) She was the sweetest lady I ever knew and I miss her. My mom continues a family tradition of good food, good company and good times on holidays every year even though sometimes it is hard for her and she gets tired of the work. So we have sit down dinners less often now and buffet meals more often but still we can enjoy a few hours of laughter and companionship with each other. I know that when and if the time comes I will need to step up and be the one who continues family holidays if only to give us all a CONSTANT meeting place of home and a space to recharge for life. (Sometimes I do this already when she needs a break lol)
I have been making my own Christmas dinner for my friends and family every year since the first one I was out on my own. It is IMPORTANT to me to feed them and spoil them and share a lovely evening together with them because THIS is my way to give them MY home. My way to let them know that they ARE my home. They are everything that IS good and beautiful in it so why would it NOT be important to me to give them all the things that make me ME? I don't need special holidays to do this. None of us really do. EVERY DAY is a good day to appreciate, share, GIVE, LOVE and BE with your loved ones but most of us like holidays because they give us a REASON to set life aside for a little while and MAKE the really important things matter the most! It's the way it always should be but we get lost in the shuffle and busy and speed of our lives and work and lack of real time so a holiday is a good time to TAKE or MAKE the time for each other.
So many things get lost over time that I believe it IS very important to do our best to KEEP family holidays and get togethers as a means to CONTINUE lessons and traditions on to our children and their children and so on.
I think I'm feeling especially sad this holiday because I miss my daughter who lives on the east coast of Canada now and is VERY far away and my oldest son is also out on his own and doing his own thing. I only have the baby at home with me now and he is getting older so holidays are changing for us again and I want to hold onto the old traditions! I guess it is time to create some NEW ones!
Family and holidays mean a LOT to me and I am sad every time something gets lost in the transitions of life but I can keep all the beautiful memories and there will always be NEW ones to create!
Here is to you and yours from me and mine. Cherish the moments!

Winter Haiku

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soft flakes of snow fall
grazing my lips tongue tasting
winter's first snow kiss

I Remember

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 I remember cousins all piled into one room to sleep

I remember late night whispers and giggles

I remember waiting and hoping to catch a glimpse of SANTA

and the adults in the house getting frustrated as they told us time and again, "Go to sleep!"

I remember the excitement of Christmas

I remember the warmth and comfort of family

I remember the smells and bustle of sharing Christmas dinner

even though this was many many years ago

I remember the laughter and comfort and joy

But my favourite memory is yet to come

Holiday Poem

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Christmas 
shopping mall parking lots full of cars
pumpkin pie spices float on the air
Christmas carols on the radio
candy canes stirred and melted into a cup of hot chocolate
wrapping with tissue paper and curling ribbons
Christmas

List Poem #3

What’s in the middle of my Christmas tree 
a handmade jingle bell wreath ornament made out of red and gold bells 
an adorable ornament of Bambi wearing a Christmas Santa cap
a combination of six strands of both white still lights and coloured blinking ones 
my son's and daughter's Baby's First Christmas ornaments 
our First Christmas Together ornament which it is hubby's job to hang every year
both non-breakable and breakable Christmas ball ornaments in a variety of colours
silver pinecone and snowflake ornaments 
handmade beaded ornaments that catch the lights and sparkle prettily

FORGIVENESS

{Post: 331/365}


A mistake is
Just that...
A mistake.

If you are sorry
BE that...
Be sorry.

If you are wrong
or even if not...
Apologize.

Do what is necessary
to fix it...
Make amends.

Don't hang on
to the pain...
Let it GO.

Show compassion
to the injured party...
and to YOURSELF.

In the end
Forgiveness...
Will heal your heart.

Saturday Night Sleepover

{Post 330/365}
Having hubby's BFF over with her son for a movie night sleepover like we usually do.
Looking forward to it!
At the moment I'm trying to work on xmas presents and get them wrapped and hidden so the surprise isn't spoiled! LOL  So get off the blog and get back to wrappin'!! ;)
We're gonna have pizza and salad for supper, snacks and maybe ice cream to snack on later and watch a couple of movies after we send the bratty boys off to bed!! hehehe
So fun girl time tonight! YAY! :)

Happy Birthday MOM! xo

{Post: 329/365}

I made a lovely little necklace and earring set for my momma for her bday and decided to share it with you here:

Ornaments

{Post: 328/365}
Making ornaments for Christmas FINALLY...they are prettier than they look in pics...LOL

My FIRST Gumbo!

{Post: 327/365 Original Post: FatCatMomma}

Original Recipe:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/ultimate-gulf-coast-gumbo/detail.aspx

I made some substitutions so mine was slightly different but still yummy!

I had no celery so I will add that next time.

I had no file powder or Old Bay Seasoning so I used Cajun Spice.

I only used one can of crab meat.

I don't cook with salt.

AND I used mild italian sausage.

Hubby had 3 bowls and Gibby had 2!

YAY! My first GUMBO!! :)

Christmas Wishlist

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Just in case anyone-who-gives-me-presents-is-actually-reading-this-blog-and-wondering-what-to-give-me! LOL

• bubble bath, bubble bath, bubble bath (please no PEACH scent)
• wire work beading magazines are always appreciated
• I really DO like gift cards or certificates for (Walmart, The Craft Nook, or even dinners)
• MAKE me something...YES I DO love COOKIES!!! (because I AM a diabetic and I no longer bake them or buy them for myself...so a Christmas goodie tray makes my whole day!) :) Also I appreciate crafts and things you make yourself (and a great example is a very simple bracelet Josh made me one year and I wore it every day for months because I loved it so much!!) -I also like ornaments for my tree ;)
• candles (I'm fond of cinnamon, vanilla, lavendar, gardenia, jasmine)
• honestly there is nothing I want more than that you show up for Christmas Dinner, share a joyful evening of family/friends, good food, good music, and TIME with me and maybe give me a HUG (or a kiss under the mistletoe-you know I love a mistletoe kiss lol)...bring yourself...it is more than enough to make me feel loved and appreciated and HAPPY :)
• and just in case you don't remember reading it FIRST...you can NEVER go wrong with bubble bath. Bath time is my relax time. I get rid of stresses that way and I'm always running out of bubbles!! So you'd be helping me de-stress if you bring me some! ;)  ( I LIKE berry scents, flowery scents, sugary/vanilla scents, really anything but PEACH or MANGO lol)

Christmas Ornaments

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MY first beaded snowflake.
It's in red, green and gold Christmas colours.
It's smaller than I imagined it would be.
I need wire and bigger beads for the rest of them and maybe some blues, whites and silvers too! ;)
But, it's a cute little snowflake and I'm proud of it! :)

Christmas Tree Lights

{Post: 324/365}

Getting in the mood.............

with beautiful, glowing and blinking (4 separate strands) coloured lights

AND

2 strands of soft white lights!

Next Iron Chef

{Post: 323/365}This is the craziest episode I've ever seen yet!
They are cooking octopus, tortillas, marshmallows and kumquat...
what the hell can they possibly make out of this combo???
Apparently some of the chefs actually combo these ingredients with some success according to the judges!
WOW!! I love the Iron Chefsand I can't wait to see who wins this season. :)

Better Things

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I have decided that 2012 is MY year.
I intend to WORK as hard as I can to be consistent and focused and get more books written and get at least ONE of them published! It's my early New Year's Resolution but I hope to be very serious about it!
WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK!!!! lol

Forgiveness

{Post: 321/365}
I forgive you but I can no longer be your friend.
It is a long old history we have full of ups and downs, fights and fun, friendship, sisterhood, love...or so I thought. I don't know what I ever did to you that makes you want to squash me down so much and hurt me but it seems that everything you do is designed to cause me the most hurt in the softest places.
There have been so many different things over the last few years and the biggest over the last few months that have seriously opened my eyes and NOW I see. You don't care about me at all. You care about YOU. Everything you do in regards to me is meant to make me feel like a bug or a slug or a piece of crap and YOU like you are something and someone much better than me, much more of everything.
I forgive you because I think that you don't like yourself so deeply that you MUST use and abuse and manipulate me in order to feel anything good at all.
I am doing the best thing for both of us. I am stopping this madness. We've had this insane, twisted competitive relationship long enough.
I really hope that you will do the work you need to do to find the truth inside yourself and become a better, wiser, stronger version of yourself but I don't think that is possible if we are attached to each other.
I've allowed this behaviour already for far too long.
I deserve better than this and really so do you.
I have never been strong enough to tell you how I feel and apparently still am not because I'm writing it like this. THIS really is not for you. THIS is so I have said it, am done with it now and can let it go.
I have loved you for years and so allowed many many things because maybe I don't always like a person's behaviour or choices but I love them and so I allow them to just BE, no matter what. I am angry and bitter about many of the things you have done to me but I don't hate you. I forgive you.
I love you for the many wonderful things you HAVE done and the things we have shared that were joyful and good but I can no longer be the punching bag that keeps taking hits. My skin is peeling and the stuffing is falling out. I've had ENOUGH. I hope you find whatever it is that you are missing because it is obvious that SOMETHING is lacking or you wouldn't have to try and take everything that is MINE.
I don't have the strength or energy for you anymore because I am taking the most terrifying, energy draining, stress filled ride of my life and if you can't support me through it and instead feel the need to add to the pain, confusion and distress then there really is no option but to cut you loose.
This is NOT about something that happened in the past though that is a big part of it because it is a reference point. THIS is about what you are doing in the NOW of our lives. It is actually repeating a previous action.
I don't know why you did it the first time. I don't know why you did it this time.
I think that perhaps it should be the point you begin with when you decide to search your soul for the reasons you have ever done what you've done. YOU alone are responsible for your choices.
It was never what you did. It was always the lies you told. I think the problem really is that you lie to yourself the most and it makes it easier to believe the stories you tell other people.
I hate liars. Yet, I forgave you and we moved forward because I believed you were sorry. I believed that you loved me. I believed that I had some value for you. Even when you did things that I KNOW were meant to dig at me and hurt me, I believed that I mattered to you and there was some reason I deserved it.
I DON'T deserve it. I never did. I no longer believe a word you say. You are a LIAR. You always have been and unless YOU choose not to be you always will be.
Even for that I forgive you. The problem is that I have seen the truth and I can't go backwards into what was. I must go forward now. I don't know what will happen in the future.
Unfortunately, we are attached in some ways and it will probably mean occasional socializing but I need it to be very clear that we are NOT friends any longer and I will NOT lie, pretend or play nice.
I don't believe you and I can't see a time that I ever will again.
Still, I do not wish evil for you. I WISH for you to own up to yourself and find out who you really are and what you really want and need. I don't think you even know yourself.
I wish for you to find whatever happiness you can and even if that means you need to take all MY friends with you...so be it.
I wish you well. I forgive you. I hope that you find healing for whatever tortures your heart and soul.
I do forgive you but we are no longer friends.

Drama

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You know what...I'm tired of drama and bullshit.
I want a life without it. Is it really insane to want friendships with people who value and respect me rather than devalue and disrespect me? I'm just a girl who wants to spend time with her friends and appreciate the qualities and joy that they bring to her without drama and stress and issues.
I want joy.
I want laughter.
I want good food.
I want friends I can share with and trust.
I want comfort.
I want fun.
I want intelligent conversation.
I want understanding.
I want compassion.
I want acceptance.
I want to be valued.
I want to be appreciated.
I want to know that investing my love, time and attention matters and is valued and returned.
Is it really too much to ask????

Loyalty

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     I don't care if it is right or wrong, close-minded, or selfish, I expect my friends to be as loyal to me as I am to them. I suspect that I am very foolish to believe that anyone would NOT be talking about me or making judgements about me behind my back because it seems that we are ALL guilty of it at some point. I DO try to refrain from bitching about irritating things people do and YES, sometimes, I like anyone can lose my temper and my hold on my tongue and say something mean too but I feel very HURT when I think people are talking about me behind MY back so much that they become less loyal to me and more loyal to whoever else they are talking to. IF I have really done something so wrong and terrible please feel free to tell me to my face!
I don't want to be friends with you for whatever reason. My friends want to be friends with you. That's fine...be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. However, when you talk about my private business without my knowledge or acceptance or share MY information with someone I don't TRUST when you KNOW that it will upset me...I feel BETRAYAL.
You figure out what happens next.

Halloween 2011

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On Oct. 29th this year we had a Halloween party and it was a good time!
I tried a few new recipes and they seemed to be a hit!

Deviled Green Goblin Eggs

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SIMPLE PIMPLES

1-2 dozen cherry tomatoes

flavored soft cream cheese spread

Core tomatoes with a carrot peeler or knife. Drain excess tomato juice. Using a butter knife, fill holes in tomatoes with cream cheese. Give each "pimple" a gentle squeeze and arrange on a platter.

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BLOODY BUG JUICE
24 oz frozen strawberries, thawed
6 oz lemonade, frozen concentrate
1 quart ginger ale
1 cup raisins
1 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen
Place the strawberries in a bowl and mash with a fork. In a large pitcher, mix the strawberry mash, lemonade and ginger ale. Place handfuls of raisins and blueberries (bugs) into tall glasses. Pour the liquid over the bugs, then sit back and watch the bugs and scum rise to the top of each glass.
To quench a creepy crowd's thirst, double or triple this recipe and serve in a punch bowl. Drape some gummy worms over the rim of your bowl for a particularly swampy-looking effect!

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Of course we had chips & dip and some of the other usual party snacks but we had a great time too! :)

30 Day Blog Challenge-Post #30

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WHATEVER TICKLES YOUR FANCY:

30 Day Blog Challenge-Post #29

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HOPES, DREAMS and PLANS for the next 365 days:
     I am hoping beginning January 2012 to write a POEM a day for my 365 Words of the Day blog and continue writing and improving in each of my others.
I also HOPE to finish a book I've been working on and send it to a publisher. I PLAN on 2012 being MY year!
I plan to continue doing my best to follow my diets, get more exercise and otherwise continue to work hard keeping myself healthy and in upbeat positive spirits.
   I hope to continue helping my friend answer Breaking Questions and believe that we are helping people solve or at least feel better about their issues.
I hope to continue working on my businesses and if not make a living at least sell what I have now to make other changes and choices in the coming year.
I just HOPE most for a better year than the last one and a little growth, change and more of the family and friendships that make my life...LIFE!

30 Day Blog Challenge-Post #28

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THIS YEAR, IN GREAT DETAIL:
January- We began a new year with hope for a better one than last year. We had a rough winter for money and I had problems paying for medicine for awhile. However, we managed to get through it. We had a Triple Birthday Bash for Shawn, Mary and Nicky and it was a fun time! I also began blogging my 365 day blog. 
February- I began working with my MUSE in his group Breaking Question of the Day in earnest and answering questions regularly. I also began to recognize the goddess inside myself and start writing and sharing my thoughts about that. This month marked Gib's 10th birthday and hubby, Gib and I had a lovely crab leg dinner for Valentine's Day!
March- I started writing more about being a QUEEN and also began planning a girl's weekend for all of us to enjoy which didn't end up working out.
April- This month I spent a week in bed from a cyst bursting and causing me four days of pain and kidney ache. It was the first time for this to happen. We also celebrated our 13th Anniversary on the 18th and went out for a nice dinner together as we do every year. :)
May- It was hubby's 40th birthday this month and we celebrated with our friends and family by going out for dinner at the hibachi table at Wabora and then getting together at our house afterwards. Everyone enjoyed their dinner and we had a fun party! 
June- My daughter turned 21 this month and we enjoyed the beginning of summer with warm days and sunshine.
July- My son turned 22 this month and we began planning and preparing for our August Adult Camping trip we do every year. I started going to book club with the girls.
August- I made an appointment to get my newest tattoo in Sept. and started getting really excited for it! I turned 41 this month and I realized that being in my 40s feels really good. I like where I am and I like who I am. We went on our camping trip and for the most part had a great weekend. Some things happened over the course of the summer that came to a head at the end of the month and caused a BIG change in my life and in our group. I stand for MYSELF in the end and that is FINAL.
September- Hubby decided he was having his usual labour day party even though I decided I didn't want one. We did have it though and it was fine. LIFE goes ON!
October- This month marks our annual Halloween party and we had a good time. Hubby's sister even came for awhile and we enjoyed that! We've missed her being there every year since she moved away and it was awesome to have her be part of it again this year! 
November- It is in the middle of the month now and I am trying to plan Christmas, make presents, plan our annual dinner party, soon think of decorations, get ready for winter with hats, boots, mittens etc. for the kid, and otherwise manage all the STRESS!! LOL
December- This will be full of snow, Christmas, family, friends, LOVE, and hopes, dreams and wishes for the next year to be bigger and better and full of beauty and JOY! :)